Invisible
by twitchdoll
Summary: Because everyone's got to have a "something".  On hiatus for now
1. Chapter 1

At first this was a one-shot but the one-shot turned into like a 15,000 word page that I was STILL ongoing and I thought that was too long to be called a one-shot, so yeah D8

I've been doing a lot of one-shots lately to improve my writing skills so I made a bet with myself that whatever song came up first when I pressed shuffle, it would be the song that I would use for the inspiration of a new one-shot. Fortunately the song happened to be "Invisible" by Otep, (if you like Evanescence, you'll like Otep too :D...maybe :P) and I was easily able to work it into a Kweek (Twenny) story.

I tried to make this long-shot (lolz at my new word xD) as canon as possible but I just couldn't tell if everyone knew or not that Kenny died because in the Coon and Friends junk they said they didn't but in previous episodes the characters would say stuff that hinted that they knew Kenny could die like "No you can't eat him, he's not dead yet!" or "Oh come on! Who didn't see that coming?" so it really confuses me... :/

But whatever, I went with the Coon and Friends theory that they didn't know he could die.

So enjoy this short first chapter, I'm already done with the whole story so I'll put up one or two chapters a day whether I get reviews or not, so no worry on having to review unless you feel like it (though it still would be awesome to get reviews! :D).

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><p><em>You're so lovely when you cry.<em>

_You're so perfect when you lie._

_You can be my crucifix,_

_Hold me up to watch me die._

_Can't you see?_

_I'm invisible..._

The sight was abnormal to some outsiders but to others (more likely the people who lived in the town itself), it was an ordinary everyday occurrence even though they didn't know it. An empty street bordered with poorly cared for overhead light posts with their dim light bulbs seeming to look like they were having a debate on whether they should flicker their last shine of light or to just finally die out with the stars they tried to outshine every dark night. The weather chilled any person to the bone, whether you were used to it or not. Such a cold atmosphere this town had. It felt like a curse... with the never ending grey snow and black ice slithered these same streets but that's not what made it seem like a curse, no not at all. It was the blood that gave it the final touch. That blood that spilled from the wounds of the body of the boy who never died.

It used to be just the body and blood of the boy that filled the streets every night and day but sometimes maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be alone. His ignorant friends were there sometimes, to watch him die painfully and slowly having no idea what was going on while always having the same strange feelings of déjà vu stinging their numb conscience. They didn't know that their own friend had a horrible curse of being practically immortal even though they had experienced his blood spilling on their hands near a trillion of times before that day. He could die from something so tragic like a drive by shooting or the getting run over by an 18-wheeler truck but no matter what their reaction to his death remind the same.

"OMG they killed Kenny."

"The bastards..."

Years went by where the boy would just wake up on his poorly conditioned bed on a bitter cruel morning in the same clothes he wore the day before, not a single rip or stain on it like whatever demon controlled this curse mocked him and wanted to trick him into thinking that he was insane and the deaths seriously didn't happen,... that would never work though. Kenny KNEW the deaths happened, the horror and pain of it was enough to prove it to himself he was definitely NOT insane. So every morning that he woke up from his deathly sleep, he would just curse to himself or (depending if he was really mad) he'd unleash hell on whatever he had in his room which wasn't that much in the first place, and really just did whatever he wanted to relieve himself the pain and frustration.

Because he knew... he knew the minute he walked out of this crap shack of a home, his so-called friends would just look at him with big goofy grins on their faces and say with their stupid voices "What's up, dude!" as if he didn't just get massacred right in front of their eyes the day before. It drove him the bat-fuck mad and he just wanted to show them exactly what WAS up, but he couldn't because he already tried that before. He tried that SO many times before. He despised the look of concern and fright whenever he told them the truth about his never ending painful deaths. He told them what happened when he died and what he felt. He told them that when he died he either went to three places: hell, heaven, or purgatory. He told them how each one wasn't so bad, though he preferred to be in heaven out of all of them. He told them how beautiful it was there and how perfect it was. He told them everything he could say and whatever he could remember, piece by piece, just too only be looked at like he was some kind of animal...a monster sometimes depending on how much details he put into it. They made him feel insane, like some sort of freak that needed help as soon as possible. They ALL made him feel like that. Sometimes he agreed with them and he'd cry, because that's what hopeless people like him should do. They cry their empty tears that mean nothing as they drip down pale, hollow cheeks all the way to the same floor that mockingly held their blood; their zombified blood that felt recycled like a pot of used shit boiling in their weak hearts as it was pumped into their worn out veins. Of course they weren't deemed worthy enough to be given new, fresh blood. They were freaks of nature and they will stay like that and Kenny was just another one of them.

Freaks...freaks...unwanted by society, never loved and never been loved. No one deserved this, not even a total racist, asshole like Eric Cartman. So why was he tortured like this? There were much more deserving people who ought to have this agony, not him. Not Kenny McCormick, who never once tried to hurt a person or was ungrateful for what he had, he was indeed grateful to have friends that would generously give him food. Hell, he wouldn't even question them on why they were giving him food in the first place, he'd just munch that mother fucker down, not even worrying about disgusting people next to him.

It was really rare to find nice people in this town.

On a different matter, that's how stuff _used _to be. He used to have to deal with the painful obliviousness of his agonizingly happy friends. He used to have to deal with dying alone all the time. He used to have to deal with him only knowing how wonderful heaven was and how annoying hell could be at times. How purgatory was just him being invisible and floating around, watching his friends blissfully live on with the rest of their day, even though his dead body was still rotting away on the sidewalk next to them. He was already used to being invisible before. That's how he lived his life. All up until that one day he had to deal with that shallow, empty type of life. He was finally saved on that one memorable day.

The day that he died in front of Tweek Tweak.

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><p>Super short but that's the most I could leave in for the first chapter. I'll upload the next chapter maybe later on today. Maybe<p>

R&R :D


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter two. Thank you **allygirl56** for the review :D, it's the reason behind the quick update.

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><p>He never noticed the boy before and frankly he didn't care much for him. The only thing he knew about him was that he hung out with Craig and his little group and that he had some kind of attention disorder or something. He didn't care, because he had much bigger problems than dealing with another person who was as unaware of his deaths just like everyone else. He just didn't care and it was that simple.<p>

Little did he know that Tweek cared and the most importantly, he wished he knew all along was that the other had his very own secret.

He...KNEW...all along.

It was another chilly night as Kenny was strolling down the street by himself. He saw the truck coming and he felt it hit him before it actually did hit him, just as always. What he didn't see coming was the boy kneeling by him and the stench of spilt coffee mixing along with his own blood on the street not to long after. This time when he died he went to purgatory; sweet, ol' blissful purgatory where you turn into the air and live in invisibility, but a different type of invisibility than the kind he felt when he was alive. When he was alive he _felt _invisible to the entire world and the weight inside of him kept him from going anywhere else but there. This invisibility he at least knew no one else could see him and he feel a bit lighter, like he had no more worries and no more emotions. Just a floating particle of angel dust, where the wind was his eyes and his senses were noise waves in the atmosphere around him with no wants and burden.

But only this time it was different.

Tweek Tweak, the boy he never really gave a damn about, was probably taking a midnight stroll as well before happening to walk upon Kenny's usual death of the day. He was kneeling by his body and crying, but not crying like the type of crying a little girl would do if she saw her dog die or the kind of crying you'd see a mother grieve for her lost child. He was crying silently. He was so silent, Kenny was wondering if he died along with him, too. But his suspicions were answered when the boy finally spoke, with a voice so different and so full of stale emotion it would've broke his cold, unseen heart when he heard it. It wasn't the voice itself that surprised him; it was the words that whispered out of the frowning caffeine traced lips of Tweek that scared the shit out of him the most. With a small sniffle Tweek buried his head into his hands and quiet little cries where all you could hear, and then he said:

"Not again."

Kenny froze. So many things ran through his translucent mind at that moment. What did he mean by again? Did he see him die before? Does that mean he FINALLY found someone who knows his curse? Holy shit, he could not believe it! All along this boy, who he didn't even bother to acknowledge existed, was the only one that wasn't total idiot about his curse! He knew! He knew! The son of a bitch knew! And Kenny didn't know whether he should be pissed off for the kid keeping that to himself for so long or if he should feel like he was nearly pissing himself with joy. He chose the latter seeing as anger wouldn't help in any way for the moment.

Kenny spent part of that night watching the boy who continued to cry silently by his bleeding body and bravely ignored the horrid, burning smell of death that he knew the dead body of his was probably emitting by now. He stayed there for what felt like hours before Tweek had come to senses to realize the time that had passed and decided to get home before his parents got after him not knowing that Kenny, like a lost ghost puppy, was following right behind him. The whole walk over there Kenny could hear Tweek mumbling to himself with quickly mumbled words and it drove him bonkers trying to hear what he was trying to say. It was like Tweek was talking in a whole other language only he could understand, like how twins did sometimes.

His house was painted a warm chocolate brown with teal green colored shillings. It seemed inviting to Kenny but when he saw Tweek suddenly go frigid at the sight of his very own house, that was a call for a instant changed opinion on the place. But then again, he remembered that Tweek used to be scared of everything back in elementary. Was he still the same?

Though he couldn't use any of his other senses but sight and hearing, he could still feel that the house smelled like someone replaced the Windex and air freshener with coffee grounds. He just knew it smelled like coffee because the inside looked like the inside of their family owned Harbuck's, which was pretty scary. Why would you want your home to look like your work place? Well, whatever, he just followed Tweek as he entered the living room of his coffee décor house. His dad was sipping at a cup of joe while reading a book as he mother did the same but instead of a book, she was knitting. All Kenny remembered thinking was Tweek's mom... wasn't all that bad looking. Total MILF.

Then he saw that the clock on the wall read 4:15 a.m., which meant he had barely died about three hours ago. Tweek was kneeling in a pool of Kenny's own blood for nearly four hours and his parents didn't even noticed the blood stains covering his clothes. Instead they were up like the coffee fueled vampires they were while everyone else was still sane and fast asleep.

"Have a nice walk son?" Mr. Tweek had mumbled while sipping his coffee and still holding his book with the other hand.

"I thought you were going over to your little friend Craig's house? What happened?" neither one of them bother looking up at their own practically blood-drenched son. They seemed to be kind of disappointed that he didn't stay at Craig's house by the sound of it...

"I uh...decided not to. It's too late to –ngh!- bother him." Tweek had quietly mumbled out before starting to head up the stairs of his house. "I'm gonna take a –geh!- shower now."

"Don't waste all the water or else we'll sell you into slavery to pay the water bills." What a bunch of jerks, seriously, Kenny already didn't like them (well he didn't like the dad, the mom was still bangable). What kind of parents wouldn't even notice that their own son was drenched in blood and looked like utter hell had stricken upon him? They were almost as bad as my own parents, maybe even worse.

Kenny decided not to be a perv for once and didn't watch Tweek take his shower. He could hear his sobbing from the other side of the door. Beneath the sound of water pounding against the porcelain tub and bathroom walls, a very distinct sobbing sound was heard, blending in with the sound of pulsing water. The shower didn't last long and he watched red-eyed Tweek throw away the bloodied clothes, not even bothering to try and save them by getting the blood stains out. Kenny thought that was a waste of clothes but then again, he thought Tweek might've been a germ-a-phobic or something similar to that. He stayed and watched Tweek stay wide awake for the rest of the remaining hours before the next day of school started. Tweek had started talking to himself again, but a bit louder this time which Kenny greatly appreciated.

"I've gotta act normal tomorrow. Maybe he'll pretend I don't exist like he always does. Yeah, I hope he does that. Do I tell Craig I saw him die again? No...no no no he'll just say I imagined it –agh!- again. I'll keep it to myself again, like I always do. It's the right thing to do. Jesus, who KNOWS what'll happen to me if K-Kenny finds out I know his secret! He'll k-kill me to shut me up! NGH! Too much pressure...tooooo much pressuuure." He was cradling his knees to his chest while lying on (or at least what looked like, it was too dark to tell) a shade of olive green colored bed sheets. Purgatory bound Kenny just semi-floated there and stared at the other blonde's pale features in the light of the moon and stars that shone through his window blinds. He looked so tired and frightened, more than he usually did. His eyes were as wide as saucers and the usual light honey brown color in his eyes darkened into what looked like the black coffee he drank every day. Personally...Kenny didn't even know Tweek's eyes were brown. He just knew his hair color was a strange mixture of different types of blond stands. Some were platinum; some were macaroni yellow; it was just such an odd arrangement of different shades of blonde hair, like he got in a fight with a Barbie for hair dye. He never even noticed the major bags underneath his eyes.

He didn't notice a lot of stuff about Tweek up until that night.

All of a sudden he then felt that heavy feeling he always felt right before his soul went back to his newly formed body, which was likely to be lying on his old bed in his room with the same old undamaged orange parka he wore all the time, waiting for him. He saw a glimpse of Tweek's eyes closing peacefully before he himself opened his own eyes and saw that he was back at his own place, once again. He let his room live this time and not have to suffer under his wrath against the world once again, because his mind was on way more different things. He thought about that one boy he never noticed, that one boy who he could never really give less of a damn for.

He then recalled what the boy was saying to himself that night.

He DID see him die before and he told people about it, which they obviously didn't believe what he said just like others that didn't believe the truth even when it came straight from the horse's mouth. A slight pity rose in Kenny's chest as he went over the events of last night. How long did Tweek know his curse existed? Did he just notice recently, or has it been for a while now? How many times has he told Craig about what he saw and did Craig honestly not believe him or was he just too full of pride to say he agreed too? Did Tweek tell anyone else about it? Did Clyde or Token know? He also mentioned that he was worried about Kenny finding out that he knew, so... was it okay for him to confront Tweek today or would that just scare the living shit out of him if he did that? Why did Tweek stay with him last night? Wasn't Kenny a total asshole to him? Why would Tweek kneel in his disgusting blood for nearly four hours if Kenny was nothing but a complete jerk to him and didn't even acknowledged his existence more than once?...

These questions NEEDED to be answered, and soon.

So he went to school with a bit more of a bounce to his step that day, ecstatic that he finally found someone that not only would be able to believe him, but experienced his occasional deaths firsthand himself. He had found a new friend and a new hope in life...right?

He searched the hallways for the fizz of electrified blond hair each and every passing period but he never saw it. The question always popped in his head if Tweek had any classes that were near his own classes. Kenny never cared enough to pay attention, and now he was instantly regretting it just like everything else he was just too self-absorbed to notice. He still had the lunch period though, and he planned to talk to him then. Tweek had to go to lunch right? He was always at lunch, that Kenny did notice, because he always saw him by Craig's side and liked to compare them to a pair of conjoined twins or their old elementary school nurse's weird baby hanging thing with his "friends".

Lunch did come (though Kenny felt like the world hated him enough to purposely slow down time), and he didn't wait for his "friends" like he usually did. Instead he went to the table Craig and his group always occupied, the last table of the fourth row that was pressed in the very back of the cafeteria avoiding as little human contact as possible conveniently right next to the Mexican food and snack lines that sold Styrofoam cups of shitty leftover coffee for a dollar. It just made perfect sense for them to sit there, sort of like it was made especially for them and it probably was seeing as how Token had all the money in the world to get whatever he wanted, he could've bought a special ordered lunch table. Just the thought of wasting money on a stupid table made Kenny confused on whether he should laugh or cringe. It was a waste of money, but it was a funny waste of money. So...

Yeah, Tweek was there as always with his coffee beverage clasped between the Jaws of Life he had for hands, shaking and sitting as close to Craig as possible like he was his back-up person if a sudden zombie apocalypse where to happen. No one at the table saw Kenny coming over so he literally had to bang and shake the table to catch their attention, which stirred up really hilarious reactions from all four of them.

"AGH EARTHQUAKE! SWEET FUCKIN' JESUS!"

"YO, MAN! THE HELL YOU THINKIN'!"

"YOU MADE ME SPILL TACO SAUCE ON MY JACKET, YOU BUTT MUNCHER!"

"THE FUCK, MCCORMICK! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

He had to suppress the snickers he had with all his strength, it was just too awesome of a thing for him to experience all at once but remembering why he was here in the first place helped him get right back to business.

"I need to talk to Tweek."

The blonde boy started sweating like crazy at the mention of his name and Kenny really remembered how defensive Craig got all of a sudden, like he was Tweek's big brother that was his property to protect.

"Why?" Craig had hissed. Kenny painfully explained how he needed to talk to Tweek, alone, but... never had he hated Craig so much until that moment. Craig was more stubborn than a mule and kept insisting that whatever Kenny needed to tell Tweek, he could tell to all of them. It turned into a frustrating argument between the two of them and even Clyde and Token backed Craig up along in the feud. He was just so frustrated that he didn't even know how many times he pinched the bridge of his nose just like Stan did whenever he got frustrated with something, and when he did notice he was doing that he immediately stopped himself. He didn't like the fact he was starting to pick up his so-called friend's habits, it reminded him on how long he had to suffer with their wild antics and bullshit. He expected this little quarrel to go on and on till the lunch period ended and just the thought of not talking to Tweek about what happened yesterday made him fight back with more of a bite to his words but before the fight got even more extreme (because the fact that Kenny had the nerve to call Craig a "cankerous whore" did not sit well with him at all) a shrill voice broke through their heated words.

"STOP IT ALREADY!"

Everyone looked in the direction of the yell, even some people that didn't even sit at the table turned to observe.

"Uh...If he wants to talk to me, just –ngh!- let him. You all don't have to start a stupid fight!" Tweek was shrinking in his seat from all the stares his yell attracted, making his voice sort come out like a whisper. He was clearly scared but he also looked a bit irritated as well, probably hinting that this wasn't the first meaningless fight Craig had ever started. Kenny was glad that Tweek stopped them, because he really was in no mood to fight at the moment when he needed something. So Craig reluctantly let Tweek go, not forgetting to give Kenny a few hate glares and a famous middle finger gesture in his direction, before Kenny pulled Tweek by the arm outside of the cafeteria and into an empty hallway that was deserted for the moment. Tweek was shuddering and twitching like crazy, mostly thinking up bizarre conspiracies that could explain why Kenny needed to talk to him instead of the usual cold shoulder that he usually gave him.

That coldness would stop though, everything stopped that day.

"Wh-what do you want from me?" the twitchy boy had spoken first. Kenny looked at his eyes with a deep satisfaction; those eyes that he was seeing at the moment were the usual light honey brown eyes instead of those sad dark black coffee ones he remembered seeing last night. It took him a while to find his voice before responding back to his captive's question.

"How long have you've known?" he had spat out, hoping if he quickly asked he would be quickly answered. It didn't quite work that way, unfortunately. He had no idea what was going through Tweek's mind at that moment when he spoke back, but whatever it was it practically gave him a heart attack.

"GAH! SWEET JESUS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, MAN! NOTHING, SO JUST GO AWAY AND TELL THE GOVERNMENT TO LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! AGH!" he had cowered into a little ball on the floor, and started mumbling different kinds of stuff to himself with a trembling voice, scared out of his freaking mind. Kenny didn't know what to say at first, he wanted to calm him down but he was afraid that would only make it worse. Maybe Tweek was confused and didn't hear him right...

"Dude, chill out." He laughed which was a bad decision to make on his part because that scared Tweek even more that he found amusement in his freak-out. Kenny was squatting next to him and trying to make Tweek uncurl from his panicked hedgehog ball form, which was proving to be very difficult. With an agitated sigh Kenny looked up at the wall that blocked this hallway from the outside patio and noticed the time that had passed from a barely working clock nailed way up on the top by a door. He frowned that not much time was left in the lunch period and his only progress was barely getting a squeak from Tweek.

He needed more time.

"Tweek, would you mind skipping your next class for me?" the words froze the boy for minute before he managed to shake his head sided to side, showing he didn't mind.

"Cool."

That skipped class period did not go to waste. He had convinced Tweek that going over to the auditorium would be safer for them to talk in because no teachers or administrators should be over there at the moment which he agreed to since he felt Kenny knew more about this kind of stuff.

The minute they were behind the closed doors of the still lit up auditorium, Kenny bombarded him with questions. He brought out every thought in his mind and talked so fast, it all came out like garbled speech. Tweek was worried he had gone more insane than himself.

"DUDE!" the blonde had interrupted Kenny while he was still gabbling about incoherent stuff. "I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOUR SAYING!"

Obviously Tweek still had no idea what he was talking about.

So he spoke the one question that needed to be answered right away in the clearest and slowest way he could.

"You know I can never die?"

He could see Tweek's eyes darken underneath the dim lights that the auditorium light bulbs weakly gave out, and his frame stiffened silencing his twitches and shudders. After what felt like had been hours since Kenny asked the question, Tweek had limply nodded. It was barely a nod, but it was a nod and Kenny saw it.

"How long have you've known for?"

"A...a while." His voice was a harsh whisper.

"Who have you've told?" Kenny could barely hide his excitement.

"Just Craig, but he doesn't believe me. He never does..." he seemed to sadden just a bit as he said the last part.

"Why have you never told me? You know how much easier my life could have been if you told me!" he said this with a fierce tone, but he didn't mean for Tweek to take it as a threat. The anger in his voice was directed to the world, not him.

"I'm s-sorry, man! I thought it would be better if you didn't know, b-because you hate me and stuff! I thought you would kill me if you knew! That's just WAY too much freakin' pressure!" he was starting to cry this time before he sank to the floor and started to cradle his knees again. Kenny decided to stop asking him questions for now, so he sank to the floor as well and sat next to Tweek, trying his best to comfort him. He felt guilty as hell, he never meant for Tweek to think he hated him. To be frank, he gave a cold shoulder to everyone. He resented the fact that everyone else took advantage of their ability to live life to the fullest, knowing that it could end any minute. He wished he had a reason to live life to the fullest but there was no point since he would just come back from when it ended. He never did have that something that he would want to live for. Well... at first it was his friends but they were assholes that didn't appreciate the fact their friend was willing to give his life up for them. Now he sees that everyone else had that something that made them stay on this world instead of just ending it all. A something that they would give their life for to protect and was their reason to live, a something that would most likely do the same for them as well, a something that was worth everything for striving to live.

Kenny wished he had that something.

He was staring at Tweek in the dim light, as he sobbed quietly into his legs. He wondered if Tweek had a something. It probably was Craig or Clyde or Token, possibly all three of them. They were good friends to him, but Kenny started to think he deserved a something better than them. Tweek deserved a something that would be there forever, and never die out. A something that was stable and willing to do anything for him. A something he never had to worry about disappearing.

Kenny could be that something and maybe...just maybe, Tweek could his something.

"Tweek..." Kenny had finally spoken up after a couple of minutes of watching Tweek cry. "I don't hate you. I'm actually really happy that you know."

The boy's sniffles had subsided but the heavy sound of surprise and panic was still in his voice.

"Really?"

"Really." he placed an arm on Tweek's back, trying to make sure he sound totally sincere and wasn't just being a dick. He started to feel nervous for a quick second before saying what he said next. "I was also wondering if...well...maybe we could start hanging out now. It'd be nice to have someone who actually knew about my deaths around more. I'm getting real sick of Stan and Kyle's stupidness and, Cartman...well, I've been sick of him."

A smile was on both of their faces as Tweek spoke back without a single stutter or twitch.

"Sure...I hate Cartman, too."

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><p>Chapter 3 will be up tommorow. :) Until then...<p>

R&R!


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you **GothChickGwendolyn93**, **Mali Kollama**, and **3** (? is that right, I'm not sure xD) for commenting, it made my day 8D !

Hope ya'll enjoy this chapter, it's a bit short ^^; /shot

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><p>Tweek and Kenny did spend more time together (despite the intensely angry looks Kenny still received from Craig on a day to day basis) and life seemed to be much, much brighter. The world seemed like a different place to Kenny, it was like he had bad eyesight and wore soundproof headphones all his life and that day he found the person who knew who he really was it felt like a pair of prescribed glasses were given to him and he finally took the headphones off. The world was so much brighter and colorful than before and noises were louder and more musical. He loved every bit of everything and started to see life as something to enjoy as much as possible. He'd felt little fuzzies of happiness (very manly happy fuzzies) all the time but the parts he enjoyed the most were the times he was with Tweek, as cheesy as it sounds. They talked about everything and anything that was on their mind without judgment. He found out that Tweek's feelings on how he felt like a freak of society from time to time and how he wished he could be normal. Kenny then realized...why did he not talk to this boy before? There were basically the same. Two people trying so hard to make the world realize the truth they had experienced firsthand but only getting called "insane" when they told nothing but what was real. Now they had each other instead of the others who never would believe a thing they said, no matter how many times they would tell them. It was perfect.<p>

Obviously some problems came along the way. Stan, Kyle and yes even Cartman confronted Kenny on why he had totally abandoned them as friends for a guy that he never so much as gave a damn about before. Kenny told them the truth, it was because they didn't believe him when he told them about his deaths and how they were sucky friends but, alas, they only sneered and told him to stop making such lame excuses that weren't even funny. Kenny just rolled his eyes, flipped them of, and got smashed by the tree branch that was falling right over his head...on purpose.

Tweek had his own same share of the same type of problem but his was a bit more difficult since he couldn't die to get away from them. When Kenny decided to sit in the empty spot next to Tweek at their lunch table from then on Craig, Clyde, and Token always made sure to interrupt the two blondes when they were chatting. They didn't like Kenny being there; clearly enough and they wanted him gone as soon as possible, Craig being the strongest supporter behind that.

Finally Tweek had had enough with their mean jokes and cruel teasing at his new friend and had threatened them that if they didn't stop he would gladly go find another lunch table to sit at and never speak to them ever again. This shut Clyde and Token up, but Craig being as stubborn as he was, didn't stop.

Then one day during lunch Craig did something he wished he did a long time ago.

"Oh no is that a spider?"

"HOLY SHIT A SPIDER! WHERE?"

"Right there on your coffee."

"AHHH!" and of course Tweek had spilled the coffee (fortunately it was lukewarm at the time) that he was holding so tightly all over his shirt. "JESUS!"

"Oh never mind, it was just lint." And obvious smirk was now on the amused boys face. "But you got coffee all over your shirt, Tweek! We better clean you up before you start to smell." The blondes face reddened.

"Jesus Christ, I don't want to smell!" and with that the two left to the boy's restroom. Kenny was no idiot so he knew that the whole scene right now was all a part of Craig's plan for something, Craig knew better than to say spider around Tweek it was common sense not to do that if you were friends with the kid. But there was nothing he could do about it but just wait for them to get back...

They did get back and it took a while, exactly 10 minutes in fact (Kenny had counted) had passed and a big smile was plopped on Craig's face and Tweek was blushing an insane pink as they made their way to their seats. Kenny had noticed that the two of them...were holding hands.

He had nothing against gay people, Kenny wholly accepted gay pride and all that jazz but something about the sight of Craig's rough hand clutching Tweek's delicate one stirred up something inside that made him grit his teeth and grimace sourly. But it was not only that that had irked the blonde so much, it was the smile that Craig gave him when he looked away from the conjoined hands to meet his stare. So smug and so cocky, like he had won the Super Bowl or Olympics of some sort. In fact it was that smile that it finally clicked in Kenny's head on why Craig was always so stubborn to share his friend with him. Craig liked Tweek, more than a friend, and he didn't want some guy that had ignored Tweek almost his whole life to just swoop in and take him away from him.

Kenny wasn't the only one to notice this of course, Clyde and Token had seen their hands as well and their faces showed their surprise in this.

"Uh...Craig?"

"Yes my dear Token?

"Why are you two holding hands?"

Clyde choked on his burrito, but was quickly saved from a pat on the back from Token. Then came the hugest awkward silence ever, which was just too painfully brutal to endure. The only sound came from Tweek's nervous little twitches as the blush on his face deepened even more (if that was possible) and Craig's smile still stayed on his face.

"Because we're together."

"GAH! NO WE'RE NOT!"

"Yes we are."

"NO WE'RE NOT!"

"Yeah, um... when did this happen?" Clyde had finally spoken up. Craig flipped him off.

"Does it matter?"

"Well...I dunno. Does it matter, Token?"

"How the hell should I know, Clyde?"

"Your black, you know everything!"

"...Clyde, you're such an idiot."

"Your face is an idiot!"

Then the bell rang before a whole 'nother stupid fight could break out between the two. Craig had pulled Tweek out of the cafeteria before Kenny could talk to him about what had happened. Was it true that they were together or did Craig just make that up? And why did the fact that Craig had liked Tweek like that bother Kenny so much? Maybe he was a homophobe or something...that's the only reason he could come up with.

Kenny had met up with Tweek afterschool before Craig could so he could ask him what had really happened. When he brought up the subject the same blush he had at lunch returned back on his face.

"I d-don't know, man! We just went to the restroom to clean up the coffee and then he freakin' –ngh!- kissed me! I didn't even know he was gay or that he was gay for ME! Of all people! Ahh the god dang pressure!..." he fiddled with his gloved hands while nervously biting his bottom lip. The whole thing was so new to him and he didn't know how to quite handle it. Kenny resisted the urge to hug him, he just looked so lonely and clueless about everything.

"Well," Kenny felt like he would regret the question that he was about to ask. "Do you like him back?"

The question sure did panic Tweek even more.

"I DON'T KNOW, MAN! SWEET JESUS, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!" he started to grip some strands of his blond hair and his eyes widened. "Maybe, though. I j-just don't know!"

"Tweek," butterflies started to puke in his stomach or whatever the hell was used to describe that nervous feeling you felt before you asked a serious question. "Who do you like?"

The boy's face was now a vivid red instead of the harsh pink he had earlier. Kenny was starting to get worried he might have a stroke at some point.

"I-I don't know..." Tweek twitched, "I have a feeling I like someone but I'm just not sure if it's a like like kind of like, you –gah!- know?" Something about the way he was starting to talk and say words made Kenny laugh to himself.

"Well who do you think you li-"

Kenny was too distracted at the moment to see the drunk driver driving his truck on the sidewalk.

"KENNY!" he had Tweek gasp, not in shock but with sadness. Kenny coughed up his blood as he felt the weight of the truck crushing his lungs and breaking his ribs. He knew his cause of death was most likely going to be from punctured lungs and severe muscle damage, maybe from blood loss but he hoped it wasn't that because then it would be a long death. Fortunately some God up there must've actually took pity on him for once because the trucks tires shifted to the left, instantly putting massive amounts of pressure right above his heart and causing instant death.

That day's special afterlife was Purgatory, which he seemed to be getting a lot of lately. He saw Tweek crying silently over his body again and Kyle and Stan, who were not too far off in the distance, said there usual chorus.

"OMG THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARDS!"

"WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THAT POOR PIECE OF SHIT ANYMORE! HE DESERVED IT!" Cartman yelled right after as he suddenly exited out of the schools doors just in time to join in. The other two just shrugged their shoulders and walked off along with the gluttonous jerk. Kenny saw Craig jogging over to Tweek with a concerned look on his usual apathetic face.

"Tweek, what happened?" He clearly didn't see the dead body lying right there under blood soiled snow...

"Kenny died," Tweek spoke softly though his tears as he stroked the sleeve of the orange parka with two fingers. "Again."

"That sucks, I guess." Craig spoke blankly in his no-melancholy-for- the-sudden-loss voice. "Want to come over to my place and watch a movie? Maybe play some video games?"

Tweek's bangs fell so gently over his eyes as he continued to stare quietly at Kenny's dead body before finally answering Craig. "Sure...just give me a couple of minutes here, 'kay?"

"Alright. Don't take long, though." He replied before walking away to a nearby tree for a cigarette break while he waited for his friend. Tweek closed his eyes tightly as leftover tears spilled out quickly from his brown eyes, down his flushed pink cheeks. And then Kenny thought to himself...Tweek looked so lovely when he cried.

No homo though.

There was just some kind of haunted beauty to him whenever he cried. This was not the first time he had seen Tweek cry his silent tears over his dead body before. He had done it a couple of times for the past couple of weeks, ever since they first started hanging out. No matter what he would always cry, not sob or bawl his eyes out. Just cry. And he made something so simply sad, a beautiful sight to see, sort of like a sixth wonder of the world. At least that's what Kenny thought...he had thought that ever since he first saw him cry that first time. The tears formed so perfectly and trailed so slowly down his face in a slow pace.

Kenny then thought again as he saw the last tear fall from Tweek's face.

"I wish I could be his tears...to be born in his eyes, live on his cheek, and die on his lips would be perfect."

Still...no homo though. He saw that line on Facebook somewhere, and it just seemed to come up in his mind for the moment. Now he regretted thinking that to himself...even if no one could even hear him right now, he felt embarrassed that such a sentence would pop into his subconscious like thought.

He followed Tweek around all over the place while he was stuck in Purgatory form, which he did right now as Tweek sniffled and got up, walking over to the smoking Craig who put out the cancer stick on the snowy floor underneath him.

"You done?" Tweek nodded firmly and Craig smiled at him before ruffling his blonde hair. He stared at the downhearted boy with a heavy heart and concerned eyes. "If what you say is true then he'll be back tomorrow right? So no need to be all sad." Kenny saw Tweek bite his tongue at this. The two friends walked hand in hand towards Craig's said house (much to Kenny's newfound hatred for the hand action going here) and the two of them hung out like normal friends usually did.

"So C-Craig..."

The two were in the room after finishing up another round of their Mortal Kombat battle before Tweek had paused the game. Craig eyed his friend curiously, his nasally voice spoke duller than ever still.

"What?"

"Are we...you know...-ngh!- dating or something?"

"Depends...do you want to date?" the boy smiled, showing the whites of his slightly crooked teeth. "'Cuz that would make me so happy if you did." The two couldn't help but crack a chuckle at Craig's lame attempt to bring back his old saying.

"...I don't know, man. I don't even know if I'm gay or not."

"Well...do you like chicks?"

"Not ever since that one time Bebe and her boobs almost destroyed the town and those girls almost tried to rape us at her party. I didn't want to be mind-controlled or almost-raped like that ever again..."

"Yeah Bebe's boobs tend to do that." Craig had chuckled at the distant elementary memories. "So you don't like chicks, then you must be gay I guess."

"I still d-don't know, man."

"Take your time then, whatever. Just don't hook up with another guy or else," He had unpaused the game without warning. "I'll kick your Scorpion's virtual balls in." and which he did with Sub-Zero's famous ice kick attack.

"Sub-Zero wins!" the corny video game voice said on the television. Tweek growled annoyed at Craig's bad gamer sportsmanship.

"You're a cheater!" he punched Craig on the arm making Craig laugh. "And you wonder why no one ever plays any games with you!"

The next day was Saturday and despite that it was still to 10 o'clock in the morning Kenny jumped out of bed, wearing his parka and not even bothering to try taming his messy dirty blonde hair, and immediately headed over to Tweek's coffee inspired styled house. A confused Mr. Tweak answered the door, but told him Tweek was in his room upstairs when he asked; not even bothering to ask who Kenny was. He thundered up stairs with loud footsteps and nearly broke Tweek's door when he slammed it open, causing Tweek to yell the loudest he ever had.

"AHHHHH HOLY HERMAPHODITE SON OF A PIG RAPING MECHA-STREISAND, DON'T KILL ME AHHH!" This made Kenny very amused.

"Dude, WHAT?" he laughed so hard, he was kneeling on the floor practically in tears, forgetting what he came here for in the first place. He felt a pillow hitting him hard on the back repeatedly.

"JESUS, WHAT THE HELL, KENNY! YOU NEARLY KILLED ME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ZOMBIFIED BODY OF HITLER OR KANYE WEST COMING TO SHOOT ME! YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE IN LIKE THAT ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVENT HAD MY SECOND CUP OF COFFEE YET, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" but instead of feeling guilty Kenny only laughed harder, his face turning an intense red and his lungs felt like they were still under the truck from yesterday. Tweek just growled and collapsed back on his bed looking like a child that had just got his favorite crayon box stolen by an obnoxious bully. Once Kenny started getting the hiccups his laughter started to lower and his sanity started to return back in pieces. He shakily got up, legs feeling like jelly and stomach feeling like he just pulled a thousand sit-ups.

"S-sorry dude but that –hic- was just too precious!" he hiccupped out another brief chuckle before sitting next to Tweek on the olive colored bed sheets. The boy was burrowing his head into the pillow he attacked Kenny with and he laid like a dead weight on his comforter. Kenny tangled his hand in the mess of blonde static hair and smiled warmly. "I'm sorry, Tweekykins. I'll stop laughing now."

"You promise?" the boy muffled in his pillow and luckily Kenny understood what he said because he was fluent in muffled speech...

"I promise, dude."

Tweek scoffed as he buried his head deeper into his fresh out of the laundry smelling (laundry courtesy of Craig, of course) pillow.

"Well, I don't believe your lying ass, _Kennykins_." He mocked with a pillow hidden impish like smile. Kenny smirked with that evil glint in his eye he got when he got an idea.

"Well I guess Kennykins has to prove his honesty." With that he prepared his hands so they hovered over Tweek's very vulnerable sides. "And you know what that means...right?"

Before Tweek could react it was too late. Kenny started a tickle war and he had no intentions on stopping because he was most likely planning on winning this battle, flawlessly. Tweek's hysterical giggles filled the room as Kenny's nimble fingers dug into the most ticklish parts of his neck and sides. It was the worst torture a spaz could go through and Kenny was very talented at dodging the kicks and elbow pounds that flashed by his face as quick reactions to each persistent tickle.

"HAHAHAHA K-KENNY P-PLEASE, HAHAHA S-STOP!"

"Nuh-uh~" he sang with a teasing smirk. "Not 'till you accept my promise!" Tweek sputtered out a fistful's worth of squeaky giggles as Kenny dug his fingers deeper in the crooks of his neck.

"N- HAHAHAHA! OKAY OKAY!" Kenny paused mid-tickle.

"Okay, what?" Tweek glared at him with a cute grumpy pout on his lips while the two blondes adjusted themselves comfortably on the carpeted floor of Tweek's bedroom.

"O-okay, I believe your promise..." he spat out reluctantly crossing his thin arms across his chest. "Now stop being gay, and –ngh!- q-quit tickling me!" Kenny laughed at Tweek's sentence.

"Oh I'M gay, huh? Whatever, at least I never kissed another boy!" he paused as he thought deeply for a moment. "At least, not sober I think..." Tweek kicked him with a sock covered foot, still maintaining to stay in his Indian-crossed form.

"Shut up! He kissed ME, I didn't have a choice!" Tweek whined. Kenny felt that warm feeling return back into his heart as he stared at the annoyed look on Tweek's face. So he couldn't resist reaching over and tucking strayed strands of his bipolar colored hair behind his small ears and when he saw a bright pink blush start to burn on the other's face Kenny's heart nearly exploded from over-rapid pulse. He felt his cheeks start to burn as well. Their faces were close enough to where they could feel the heat of the other's breath on them. Clear cornflower blue eyes stared in a dream like trance with warm, sleep deprived honey brown ones that seemed to look wishful but panicked. Kenny loved Tweek's eyes; they seemed so welcoming and relaxing, reminding him of gingerbread cookies and that toasty fire that would burn in log cabins on a cold Christmas day like he saw in some holiday movies. He never knew that such a dull eye color like brown could seem so special and mesmerizing. Or maybe...it was the owner of the eyes that made him so stunned by them...

"K-kenny?" Tweek had seemed to stutter out softly, which broke Kenny's intense concentration on his eyes.

"Wh-what?" Kenny wanted to smack himself for sounding so pathetic with his faltering words.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" Its times like this that if Kenny were in a cheesy cartoon a light bulb would have randomly appeared over his head and he would give himself a good face palm.

"Damn...what did I come over here for?" Kenny mumbled as he pulled away and humbly thought to himself as Tweek curiously watched him think. "I...I needed to tell you something but I forgot. Man, this is gonna bother me all day..." he snapped his teeth while Tweek groaned overdramatically.

"Jesus, you're gonna be here all day! What a drag..." he feigned a disheartened scowl. Kenny stopped his intense thinking time and looked over at his friend, raising an eyebrow.

"Wow, am I that boring of a person?" he said feigning his own mocked sad voice, playing along. "Or do I just smell bad or something?" Tweek rolled his eyes and bared a toothy grin.

"Both. And you have a bad taste in fashion." Kenny clutched his heart while letting out a pained hiss through his teeth.

"Oh sweet bitter agony, you mock me since the day I was born for not having a sense for style, making me practically born a color blinded child who couldn't tell the difference from Prada to Gucci! Please, bare me the torture of such a horrendous life! Strike me down now, thunder god Zeus with your lightning bolt full of power and eternal light, to end what's worth nothing anymore! NO! NO LIFE IS WORTH NOTHING IF HE HAS NO FASHION SENSE!" he finished the sentence with a choked gasp while he reached out to the ceiling to absolutely nothing, speaking with some kind of terrible accent he had conjured up to make it seem more dramatic. Tweek was stifling giggles behind the hand that covered his mouth as he watched Kenny pretend he was playing a thoroughly written out Shakespeare inspired play script. He admired the fact on how Kenny had such an active imagination...just like he did himself.

"Bravo, McCormick." Kenny opened one eye to look over at the blonde that was clapping slowly in a sarcastic tone "Your king of the drama queens."

"Damn right I am, sugar." He winked. "Don't you forget it."

His response was a pillow to the head.

* * *

><p>Might not be able to upload tommorow. I'm going to my cousins graduation party thingamajig and that will take a three hour long drive to get to so, no internet :( Then I have to help set up and yadda yadda yadda -sigh- :

But I will say I'll try my hardest to upload tomorrow. 8D I promise I WILL try. Until then..

R&R! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

><p>They spent the rest of that evening watching lame reruns of comedy shows that tried too hard to be funny, playing Battleship, prank calling Cartman, and having their moments of spontaneous activity like pretending they were alien waffle lords of the planet Sexyopolitis that needed to fight government gnomes that wanted to steal their royal Poptarts of Preposterous Predictable Power that they needed to improve their ultra-super Crayola powers of rainbow veined eraser pigs to star power 9...and stuff. It's quite obvious they had drunk a lot of the coffee that Tweek's mom had brewed.<p>

"Lord Sexybutt McCondoms, watch out for that laser beam!"

"Did you forget that I'm invincible to laser beams, Lord Twinkie Cream-A-Lot? Or is the rainbow fume bombs finally getting to your head?"

Of course Kenny thought up those ridiculously cool Sexyopolitis names! Who else could think up such genius?

"Boys!" Tweek's mom had opened the sliding door that lead to the backyard where the two blondes were having fun with their recovered imaginations. "Lunch time! Come inside and wash your hands before you two get AIDS from the outdoor germs!"

She closed the door and walked inside, making Kenny feel the urge to roll his eyes at her hilarious assumption about getting AIDS for playing outside but his eyes were too busy staring at something else of hers to roll away.

"AHH SWEET JESUS! WE BETTER GET INSIDE! THEY'LL SELL ME IF I GET –AGH!- AIDS!" Tweek had yelped dropping his light saber before hurriedly running inside his AIDS's free house, leaving his identity as Lord Twinkie Cream-A-Lot, warrior for the wafflenites of Sexyopolitis , for now. Kenny shrugged before he followed right behind him because he was not the one who'd toss away the offer of free food, whether if it was nothing but coffee based food or not, it was still free and edible and that was good enough for him.

"I love how your mom still has a lunch time for us even though we're, like, almost done with junior year already." Kenny laughed as he took a bite out of his yummy triangle cut sandwich. Tweek sat criss-crossed on his chair comfortably as he took a nibble out of his own sandwich with a content smile.

"Yeah m-me too! Brings back memories..." He hummed happily while taking a sip of the coffee his mother had served them along with the sandwiches. Kenny raised an eyebrow from across the table.

"Oh yeah? What kind of memories?" The blonde blinked before his smile grew just a bit wider.

"Well, when we were little and the guys came over to play she would always make us these –erk!- little snacks like brownies and grilled cheese, whatever." He took another nibble of his sandwich. "She still does it whenever any of my friends come over. She likes doing it for some reason. I don't mind though, whatever makes her happ-OH GOD, YOU INHALED THAT SANDWICH!"

Kenny looked up from his plate that he was currently licking any remaining crumbs from, sheepishly.

"Uh..." he placed the plate back down feeling ashamed. "It was a really good sandwich?" It was silent before the two burst into a fit of laughs. This was the second time of the day that they laughed this hard before Kenny spoke up when he had laughed out all the oxygen he had left in his lungs.

"Can I have some more?"

~!~!~!~

Kenny didn't even know Tweek had a cell phone. He never heard it ring or saw Tweek use it in front of him before, so how was he supposed to know?

They were in his room playing with an old Mad Libs book Kenny had miraculously found deep within the cluttered confinements Tweek called a closet. Music played soothingly from Tweek's laptop in the background and they were listening to the playlist Kenny had created earlier to pass time (and to his surprise Tweek liked a lot of the same stuff that he did). The song that was sweetly playing stopped and changed to Red Hot Chili Peppers "Scar Tissue", which made Tweek hum along to the rhythm and words happily.

"Okay I need a noun." Kenny smiled as he tapped the eraser of the pencil against the paper. Tweek hugged the pillow in his lap tighter while he tried his best to think up a random noun.

"Uh, how 'bout...dilpop?" he laughed out. The pencil in Kenny's hand scribbled out the word "dilpop" in the empty blank on the paper.

"Perfect!" Kenny raised the Mad Libs book up in the air dramatically. "We are now finished! Are you ready to experience the awesomeness we created, Twinkie?" Tweek nodded with a wide grin.

"I'm ready!"

Kenny cleared his throat and started to read their new Mad Libs story out loud making sure to emphasize on the words they had used in the empty spaces.

"The therapist asked his _stupid _patient if he had ever _masturbated _to _retarded eggrolls_ in his entire lifetime. The patient stated that he had in fact _queffed_ when he sa-"

They were interrupted by said device. Tweek seemed like he didn't even know he had a cell phone either judging by the way he reacted when it rang, nearly falling off the bed in a surprised fit. When he stopped screaming Kenny took the time to notice that Tweek's ringtone was the old Super Mario 64 intro theme song. Major points there.

When Tweek realized it was just his phone, he turned red-faced and muttered something to himself before he got up and headed over to his dresser where the phone vibrated violently on the flat table like surface of it. He winced before picking it up delicately and flipping it open only using his index finger and thumb making sure it hovered over his ear, acting like it was riddled with unknown diseases.

"H-hello?" a voice mumbled on the other side of the phone. Whoever was on the other side of that phone must've been the creator of coffee and was offering Tweek a lifetime of free coffee till he died because Kenny saw how much Tweek's eyes lit up when he heard whoevers voice it was.

"Oh h-hey!" Tweek sang as he walked back to the bed and returned to his sitting place he was previously in before the phone had rang. He sat cross legged with the phone in one hand and a handful of his shirt in the other that he tugged nervously. Kenny gave him the "who-is-it?" look and Tweek just put his index finger to his lips telling him to be quiet. Kenny gave him another finger gesture in return. The voice mumbled back and Kenny was trying to think of a way to hear who it was without seeming obvious.

"Nothing just here with Kenny. W-why?" Being super smart in asshole-ology, Kenny came up with the perfect joke for the moment. He leaned forward making sure his voice would be heard by whoever Tweek was talking too.

"Hey baby, come back to bed! It's getting cold over here!~" Tweek's eyes widened as he pulled the phone away, far as he could. Kenny sat back down and laughed his ass off while Tweek was far from amused.

"Kenny! AHH Why would you d-do that! He's gonna kill me! Holy fuck that was –ngh!- stupid!" he hissed angrily through his teeth but the other just continued laughing. Tweek rolled his eyes and brought the phone up to his ear, cringing at the now yelling voice.

"Why are you yelling? We're just playing Mad Libs, nothing else! J-Jesus!" the voice mumbled a bit faster and Tweek's eyes widened with each word the person said. Kenny was practically dying from curiosity on who Tweek was speaking too.

"NO! There is NO need for you to go and do tha-!" Tweek sighed as he got interrupted by the voice's loud mumbling. "D-...DUDE! Just calm down! You're acting stupid!" The voice mumbled back loud enough for Kenny to hear now.

"_I'm acting stupid?"_

"Yes!"

"_That's it I'm coming over for sure now."_

"No! I said you don't have to!"

"_Too late I'm at your door."_

"S-STALKER!" he yelled into the mouthpiece before pressing the "END" button a bit harder than necessary on his cell phone and letting it drop onto his green bed sheets. He buried his head into his hands and sighed loudly, staying like that for a couple of seconds before Kenny finally piped up.

"Uh, Tweek?"

"...Yeah?"

"Who's a stalker?"

He laughed shakily before lifting his head up and staring at Kenny with a frustrated look in his eyes.

"You'll see..." and with that the door bell sounded on cue. Not too long after that a yell came from downstairs.

"TWEEK, YOUR FRIEND CRAIG IS HERE!"

Kenny groaned loudly as he collapsed backwards from his sitting position on the bed and covered his face with his arms.

"Well looks like I'm not dying tonight because God and Satan obviously have plans on torturing me today, instead."

"You're the idiot who made him pissed off." Tweek mumbled back angrily as he got up from the bed and started to head outside his bedroom. Kenny stuck his tongue out at him because he was just so mature for his age.

Tweek unwillingly stepped down the steps of the stairs that lead to the living room where he the first thing he saw was his happy mother standing next to a clearly pissed of Craig who was trying to stay very calm at the moment in the presence of an adult.

"Oh Tweek honey! Your little friend is here! You two go up to your room and I'll bring you three some snacks, okay!" she seemed exuberant at the thought of having more people to give snacks to as she scooted the two of them up the stairs as quick as a mom could. Once up the stairs, Craig gave Tweek a sterile look before speaking.

"Why. Is. He. Here." Tweek gulped nervously while tugged at the sleeves of his oversized black and green striped shirt, trying super hard to tear away from Craig's cold eyes that were freaking him out.

"He's my f-friend too, C-Craig. He c-can come over if he –ngh!- wants to." He whispered in a jittery voice as he eyed the door wanting so bad to just get away from Craig's stare. He heard Craig sigh.

"Tweek...how can you be so oblivious..." Tweek turned his attention back to Craig with furrowed eyebrows.

"Wh-what is that supposed to mean?" Tweek's voice grew a bit louder with agitation building up. "Oblivious to what exactly!" as Craig opened his mouth to answer the door to Tweek's bedroom opened and there stood-

"KENNY! HOLY JESUS, -AGH!- PUT YOUR FUCKING SHIRT B-BACK ON! IT'S NOT F-FUNNY!" Tweek covered his eyes as the now shirtless blonde stood in the door leaning his head out with an evil McCormick smirk on his face.

"What do you mean by put it back on? It never was on, Lord Twinkie Cream-A-Lot!" he snickered as he stared at the faces of the two of them. Tweek's face was red from embarrassment and Craig would've been defined by the Webster dictionary as "one pissed of mother fucker" with his lovely picture right next to it.

"You better run McCormick." He spoke so calmly, it was the exact opposite of his face expression. Others would've done just that but Kenny felt especially overconfident with mysteriously found arrogance today.

"But didn't you hear? You might get AIDS if you go outside."

"You act like you don't have it already."

"Touché, Tucker. Very nice. Now try saying something that might actually sting a bit."

"I'm serious, you better start running."

"Are you super cereal?"

"1"

"Please, if the whole counting thing didn't scare me when I was three it's definitely not going to scare me now." He laughed mockingly. Craig only continued as he still kept the same stoic face

"2"

"Is he serious?" Kenny rolled his eyes and looked at Tweek who was staring wide eyed at the whole scene knowing Craig was really going to kill Kenny.

"YES! Run fast, run far away and never look back!" Now Kenny was scared.

"But this is stupi-"

"3"

And Kenny ran out of the house as fast as he could, with Craig not too far behind him while Tweek fainted from the extreme pressure of everything.

He should've never gotten that phone.

Tweek's mom was coming up the stairs with a tray full of iced coffee and sugared blueberry muffins with a cheerful song on her lips, looking like a mom straight out of a Disney movie. Then she saw her passed out son right next to his bedroom door.

"Oh dear, not again..." she sighed as she placed the tray on a nearby half table that held a flower vase, grabbing one of the iced coffees before kneeling by the limp body of her son. She placed a hand on his forehead and brought the coffee near his nose, letting the sweet aroma fill his senses. His eyes fluttered open, the face of his worried mother with an iced coffee being the first thing he sees.

"J-Jesus..." he groaned feeling an ache on the back of his head. His mother smiled while she pulled back his blonde bangs and kissed him on the forehead.

"No it's your mother." She joked calmly. "What happened, honey? Where are your friends? You didn't scare them off did you?" He hissed at the pain he felt as he slowly sat back up and rubbed his head.

"No. It just...Kenny and Craig had a fight...I think." His mother smiled warmly as she brought the iced coffee up to his lips. He drank some gratefully and instantly felt better as the caffeine numbed his system.

"Thanks, mom." He sighed as he slurped up the last of the coffee. She rubbed his back gently.

"There's no need for thanks, pumpkin. I'm your mother. Mothers take care of their sons when they find them unconscious out in front of their bedrooms." His mother always did have a bad sense of humor...but he still loved her no matter what. She was way better than his dad that did nothing but come up with ridiculous metaphors and ignored him when he had a problem. He always wondered what exactly his mother could've possibly saw in his father...

"Now why doesn't Craig like the blonde kid? Did they fight?" Tweek smiled at his mother who didn't even know the "blond kid's" name. She couldn't blame her though; Kenny never really came over here often before they become friends. Just a couple of times when he was with Stan, Kyle, or Cartman but that was so long ago.

"Yeah..." Tweek sighed as he looked down at the carpet "I d-don't even know why, too. They're just being stupid for –gah!- no reason!" She placed a finger on her chin and frowned.

"Well that's awful. They mustn't have gone far though, why don't you go look for them?" she said while getting up from her kneeling position on the floor and dusting herself off. Tweek bit his lip nervously at his mother's suggestion.

"But what if I get lost looking for them? Or a homicidal maniac attacks me!" Tweek's mom scoffed as she helped her son up off the floor.

"Son, homicidal maniacs are more scared of you than you are of them. " She dusted him off and kissed his forehead before scooting him towards the stairs. "Now go find your friends before it gets dark."

Tweek was nearly pushed out of his own house by his persistent mother against his will.

There he was... vulnerable and alone and it was almost dark. If that didn't scream murder me and rape my dead body, Tweek didn't know what did. Fortunately he heard laughing not too far off in the distance and it sounded like it was around the Stark's pond area. Without hesitation and with all the courage he could muster up, Tweek took a deep breath (he had no idea why he did that, it was just instinct) and hurried his way over to the sound of familiar laughter. He hid himself behind a tall tree when he saw figures hovering around the dank pond. He recognized two of them as Clyde and Token but the one with greasy black hair was facing forward only showing Tweek his back. The blonde inched forward all while squinting his eyes to make out a foggy form of what looked like a teenager wearing a worn black jacket and black glasses frames peeking out from behind his ear, but all it took was to look at the Star Wars logo on the back of the kid's jacket to recognize the teen all together. It was Kevin Stoley.

Since Tweek knew and recognized the people (he made sure to study them for a while longer to be sure they weren't just a figment of his imagination) he walked away from his security tree and walked over to the three boys to see if they had seen Craig or Kenny around. They were skipping rocks across the pond before they had noticed Tweek.

"Hey look, it's Tweeky!" Clyde had exclaimed before dropping his rock and running over to give his friend a manly bro hug that made the blonde squeak out a tiny scream.

"What're you doing here, dude? I thought you were staying home today." Token spoke after pulling Clyde off of Tweek. Tweek looked down at his feet that were digging holes nervously in the leftover snow.

"I was b-but Kenny came over unexpectedly and we spent the whole evening together playing games and junk until Craig called me and Kenny –gah!- decided to be funny and said something while I was on the phone with Craig which pissed him off enough to come over to my house but Kenny only pissed him off even more and then Craig counted to three for him to run away before he kicked his ass but Kenny didn't believe him at first but when he got to three they ran off and –agh!- I fainted before I could go after them so right now I have no idea where they are! It's still Saturday right?" Clyde stared at him, mouth agape and Token nodded slowly while Kevin just looked like he was trying really hard to hold back a laugh.

"Yeah it's still Saturday, man."

"Good so I wasn't passed out for a whole year than..." he sighed with relief. "But still I have no idea how long I was passed out so I don't know if Kenny's dead right now or not! Jesus, this is a whole lotta pressure." He started to tug at his hair but Token pulled his hands away from his head before he could touch a strand.

"Chill out Tweek, we'll help you look for them." Token made sure to say with a reassuring smile. Clyde groaned obnoxiously not to long after he said that.

"We will!"

"Yes, Clyde we will!"

"_Whhhyyyy_?"

"Clyde, man, don't start."

"But _whhyyyyy_?"

"Because it's what good friends do!"

"Can't we be good friends tomorrow? Kevin for once doesn't have to study! "

"Kevin can come too. Don't be such a whiner for everything, jeez..."

"I am not whining!"

"Yes you are! You're whining right now!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"YES YOU ARE! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP YOU ASSWIPE!"

"I JUST DID YOU PUSSY!"

"BITCH I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"BITCH I'LL KICK _YOUR _FAT ASS!"

Kevin was staring at the arguing pair with a blank look in his eyes before turning to Tweek, with a tired expression.

"They're...not going to stop fighting, are they?" Tweek shook his head. Kevin sighed as he used his index finger to push his glasses further up his nose.

"Well let's go look for your friends. I bet their around here someplace." He started walking off in the direction of the basketball court not too far from where they were but Tweek remained glued to where he stood. He didn't talk to Kevin much before so he didn't know if he could trust him enough to walk with him somewhere, just the two of them. He could be a psychopath or rapist for all he knows. He wasn't just going to walk off with a possible rapist. That was just absurd!

Kevin had stopped in his tracks and turned around finally noticing Tweek wasn't following after him. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side slightly.

"Uh...did you get randomly paralyzed right now or did you forget how to walk?" he laughed nervously but stopped when he saw Tweek wasn't laughing with him. "You move either your right foot or left foot in front of the other and repeat the process until you reached your des-"

"I k-know how to walk." Tweek sputtered out with a bit of an angry tone hinted in his voice. Kevin frowned.

"Well then do it." He raised his eyebrow again. "You do want to find your friends don't you?" Tweek nodded rapidly. "Well c'mon! You can trust me!" he laughed extending his hand over to him and pulling him over by his side. The two teens walked in the direction Kevin was walking in earlier with an awkward silence hanging over their heads like an invisible little rain cloud. Tweek stared at Kevin with his peripheral vision to make sure he didn't freak him out too much. He had changed a bit from the little kid he once was in elementary. He had gotten taller of course and his hair was a bit longer and greasier than he remembered. He was the basic geeky teen that you had at school. The kind that sat at the circular table at lunch with his old Pokémon cards out and playing with an old school Gameboy SP with his other nerdy buddies having the time of his life.

Kevin cleared his throat uncomfortably breaking the tension.

"So uh...I heard you and Craig are going out now." Tweek had stopped walking. The pause of the snow crunching next to him made Kevin stop to see a wide eyed and panic stricken Tweek clutching at different strands of his hair.

"W-WHAT? AGH! WHO T-TOLD YOU THAT?" Kevin tilted his head in the direction of the two guys who were still fighting by Starks Pond. Tweek gave a hateful glare at the two he considered friends before kicking a pile of melting dirty snow and flipping them off without them noticing.

"STUPID JERKS!" he yelled at them before turning around and facing Kevin with the panic still in his eyes. "Craig and I are definitely NOT together!" Kevin rolled his eyes and barked a laugh.

"It's okay if you're gay, dude. I'm gay too; it's nothing to be ashamed about." He started walking again to the basketball court. Tweek yelled with frustration before running next to Kevin's side again.

"I'm not gay! At least...I don't t-think so! B-but I'm definitely not gay for my best friend, man!" he paused. "W-wait...did you just say that you were gay?" Kevin inhaled deeply and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah." Tweek twitched.

"Wh-when did that happen?"

Kevin smiled with a faint blush burning on his face as he pushed his glasses up again.

"The day I realized I liked a boy I guess." He chuckled. "I can't really be specific about it with a certain date and time but it just took a while for me to fully comprehend it. I could've been gay my whole life and not have known it." Tweek hummed in agreement. Kevin peered at the boy from the side of his glasses.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"N-no! Secrets are way too much pressure! "

"It's not that big of a secret. I wouldn't mind if you accidently told someone."

"Pressuuuurreee..."

"Okay here I go." He sighed ignoring Tweek and closed his eyes. "Clyde and I have been dating for more than a month already."

"WHAT! HOLY SHIT!"

"I know. It's pretty crazy, right." He breathed out a single laugh. "I still can't believe it at times either when I think about it." Tweek had stopped walking once again and was bending over leaning his arms on his legs taking deep inhales of air. The greasy haired Jedi patted the spazz's back with an amused grin playing on his lips.

"Gee I didn't think you take it this bad."

"I'm...NOT!" he exhaled out in heavy gasps. "IT'S...JUST...WOW!" He shakily tried to stand back up but failed and ended up falling on his butt on the ground, yelping at the impact of the frozen cold snow on his behind. Kevin guffawed at this sight.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Tweek whined as he tried to stand up once more, this time with the help of Kevin's sturdy arm. Kevin shook his head while he bit his lip to hold back his laughter.

"Your right it's not. You're going to have to suffer with wet pants for the rest of the day. That sucks." Tweek hissed at him as he dusted himself off.

"Geh! You're a dick."

"And you're too scared to admit you like dick."

Tweek flipped him off.

* * *

><p>Sorry about the late update. The internet is going wack in my house : I hate it...

I want to remind you readers that the whole reason I'm writing this fic is to improve my writing so if you see in any flaws or have any tips on how I can improve myself writing-wise (I'm a big girl, I can handle criticism) I'd greatly appreciate it! :)

Thank you ^_^

R&R


	5. Chapter 5

You can totally tell how lazy I got with my writing in this chapter. I spent all I could fixing it and trying to make it look decent but I'm still not satisfied with it. So super sorry, dudes and dudettes 8|

And I'm kind of getting pissed :I where is Tweek in the new episodes of South Park? If he got removed as a character on the show then I have no reason for life anymore, I'm cereal guys D8 lol

But really, am I the only that noticed that? I haven't seen him anywhere :( super sad panda...

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for Kevin and Tweek to find the two boys. Their screaming could be heard from above oblivion.<p>

"Is that them?" Kevin pointed his thin index finger at two blurred fingers in the distant public park. One of the figures was in a tree while the other one was throwing various stuff that he picked off the ground at the other figure in the tree.

"STOP BEING A PUSSY AND GET DOWN HERE!"

"NYAHA YOU CAN'T GET ME!" The laughing boy with blonde hair stuck his tongue out mockingly blowing a raspberry at the guy below him. The blue chullo capped teen's face grew redder and he threw a randomly picked up pinecone at the boy in the tree in hopes it'd knock his stupid head out.

"HE'S STILL ALIVE!" Tweek yelled in relief and fright making a pull at his different colored blonde strands. Kevin eyed the boys in the park oddly, stroking his chin as he did so.

"How interesting...I never knew Craig could express such emotions of rage like this before." The greasy haired boy noted. The mentioned person threw another rock at the blonde up in the tree that only moved his head just in time to dodge it. He let out a cry of frustration and bended on the ground looking furiously for another blunt object to throw while the other just whistled on the branch he leaned on indolently, as if the fact that a person was trying to knock him out of a tree made no difference to his everyday life. Tweek let out another stuttered cry as Craig threw another object at Kenny.

"Yes that's very interesting and all but GAH THEY'RE GONNA KILL EACH OTHER AND WE'RE JUST STANDING HERE DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT!" Tweek yelled at the thinking boy who just stared lamely back at him.

"Get a grip, man. They're not going to kill each other." But as soon as he said that an angry Craig managed to successfully throw a solid rock at Kenny's arm that was dangling aimlessly off a branch. The boy yelled out a cry of pain as the other smiled wickedly at his triumphant throw. "Well, not yet. Kenny's still up in that tree." Craig shook the tree and out plopped Kenny like a little blonde apple. "Yeah...he's gonna die now."

"AAHHHHOHMYGODKENNY!" Tweek yelled again for what felt like the umpteenth time today before hurriedly running over the area that held an angry Craig that was now happily kicking Kenny in the ribs. Kevin's dark brown eyes widened behind his thick lensed glasses before this whole ordeal could process in his genius of a mind before realizing "Hey! I should probably help them out!".

In which case he did...eventually. He wanted to enjoy the little romantic comedy scene that played out in front of him first before he imposed and ruined all the fun. He had to let problems work out themselves, right? It was their fight and not his so he shouldn't trespass into what was _their _problem and not his...right?

Pffft, Kevin Stoley wouldn't care either way because Kevin Stoley had a weakness for dramas and there was no way he'd miss this because he was Kevin "Skywalker" Stoley...dammit.

"C-Craig stop!" The twitchy boy pulled at his friends arm trying to desperately to get him to stop kicking Kenny. Tweek's weak little tugs didn't even make Craig glance at him as continued to kick the blonde curling up on the snowy ground.

"AHH FU-"Kenny coughed out some blood after another swift kick in the ribs from Craig's steel toed worn Doc Marten boots. Tweek nearly fainted at the sight, it was horrific.

"CRAIG THOMAS TUCKER STOP IT THIS INSTANT!" the mention of his middle name being screamed certainly got his attention this time. No one knew his middle name except his family and his closest friends who had heard his mother scream it when he was in major trouble, which he always was.

"Holy shit Tweek. Did you just speak of the devil's word?" he flipped him off sourly.

Tweek returned the gesture back at him and Craig couldn't help but think that Tweek flipping him the bird was quite possibly the hottest thing ever experienced. Meanwhile, Kenny groaned in pain on the ground as he slit open his eyes with all the strength he could muster, seeing the crazy blonde hair of his savior standing next to him back talking to Craig.

"YEAH I D-DID AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO D-D-DO IT AGAIN YOU –NGH!- ASSHOLE!"

"_This kid is awesome." _Kenny thought in his drowsed and nearly passed out brain. Craig blinked in astonishment.

"Wait...what?" was all he could respond to him. Craig was still unsure that Tweek actually had said those words or if that was just his wacked up imagination playing with him, he had never hoped so bad for the latter to be a reason for something before.

"YOU HEARD ME!"

Damn, it wasn't his imagination this time.

Craig inhaled the frost bitten air through his teeth and breathed out a chuckle before turning around and kicking Kenny one more time.

"You see what you did you whore!" Kenny hissed out feeling intense pain bubbling up in his guts. "I hope you choke on cum muffins you poor fuck!" he spat baring his still slightly crooked teeth. Tweek yelled again but this time he didn't just yelled. He followed that yell with a right hook to Craig's jaw. Craig fell on his back on the ground with blood dribbling out of the corner of his mouth. He stared, wide eyed and totally stunned, at what was his best friend/crush standing there with furrowed brows wiping the blood of Craig off of his shaky knuckles.

"Holy shit, dude." Kevin gasped, loving this new drama. This was definitely better than "Days of Our Lives" and "Grey's Anatomy" combined to him and he wished he could TiVo it forever and ever...but he could only dream.

"You have –geh!- absolutely no reason to hurt him and until you realize what your doing is s-stupid and apologize to him I won't talk to you –ngh!- ever again." Tweek grabbed the collar of Craig's shirt and stared him down. "Ever. Again. You understand!" Craig stared at him feeling the blood rush through him with loads of adrenaline, not knowing whether to feel angry or aroused. This wasn't the first time he saw Tweek like this, he had pissed him off multiple times before (sometimes it was on purpose). Just piss him off enough and he'll shove his thermos halfway down your esophagus and use your intestines as coffee filters

"Dude..."Kenny gasped out in a weak whisper. Tweek broke the intense gaze and hold he had on Craig and in a flash was immediately kneeling next to the half-alive Kenny. He pushed the messy stands of dirty blond hair out of his face with his shaking hands and felt his eyes sting at the sight of his bruised up face.

"What's wrong, Kenny? Sweet Jesus, are you –gah!- dying?" Kenny managed to chuckle out a raspy laugh.

"Nah I'm okay, I think." He hissed in pain. "I've been through worse." He tried his hardest to find any strength in him to get back up but every time he tried to stand his knees buckled and he fell back onto the ground. "Yeah uh...I don't think I can do that walking thing." Tweek nodded firmly before lifting on of Kenny's arms carefully over his shoulder and lifting him up, only to fail miserably. Craig groaned in annoyance.

"You're not going to be able to carry him yourself Tweek, he's like ten times your body weight." Craig was like. Tweek crossed his arms angrily which made him to let go of Kenny and letting the bruised body fall to the ground.

"Uh...OW!" Kenny yelled still dowsed out of his mind. Tweek shrieked when he realized what he accidently done.

"S-sorry Kenny!"

"It's cool...I think." Kenny crookedly smiled. "But...I'm just going to close my eyes...for a while now."

Craig sighed and somehow miraculously found the strength (and mortality) to do what he did next.

He walked in his "I-don't-want-to-be-here" swag like walk and not forgetting to stubbornly grind his teeth before bending over and lifting Kenny's battered arm over his own shoulder. Tweek was nearly stunned while Kevin gasped dramatically. Kenny weakly smiled at this newfound niceness Craig was showing to him though it was a bit awkward all in all but...he was willing to push away the uneasiness to embrace what was such a rare sight to experience. I mean, when would ANYONE get to see Craig actually showing human sympathy ever again?

"Thanks man."

"Shut up," he flipped him off with his other hand showing no eye contact. "I ain't doing this for you." Kenny closed his eyes and limply walked on whatever strength he had in his legs left, his grateful smile replaced with a somber one. He thought to himself how stupid he was to think that Craig was doing this in a decent act of kindness. No, it was all for one reason and one reason only and he understand that reason with all his heart on how it could make this emotionless boy not seem so bad for once. Craig had his something and the bad thing was...

That something was his something too.

"Kevin! You were here the WHOLE time?" Craig growled finally noticing the fourth person sitting criss crossed on a patch of damp grass. The geek's faced turned red in embarrassment at being caught red-handed.

"...yeah."

* * *

><p>"Look I'm sorr-"<p>

"SHHH!"

"No, I'm serious I'm sorr-"

"ZZZZZPPP!"

"Tweek listen to me! I'm apoligi-"

"SZZZZZZHHHPP!"

"AGH! Fuck it..."

Craig grumbled with obvious annoyance in his always angry voice. He continued to walk alongside with Tweek (who continued to not talk to him or accept his apology) with the guy who he detested the most at the moment practically passed out on his shoulder who was surprisingly heavy as fuck despite how thin he looked. Yeah, Craig didn't exactly love his life right at this moment. And he didn't know what he was apologizing for; he thought Kenny deserved to die. He was a stupid fuck.

Kevin had no choice but to tag along in the awkward walk back to Starks Pond. Though even if he had a choice he'd still follow them back in hopes of more of this juicy love triangle drama he loved at the moment.

...

Okay, Kevin KNEW he needed help, he was addicted to drama majorly. No lie, if he were forced into a room by gunpoint that had a manly show like "1,000 Ways to Die" or "Man Vs. Food" on one TV and a soap opera or a Spanish novella on another and was told that if he didn't watch the manly show he'd die...

Well, let's just say he'd kiss his limited edition comic book collection and vintage video game systems good-bye for good. Yes, it WAS that major of a problem and he blamed his mom and her love for the stuff in the first place. It she didn't watch it so loudly while he was home sick that entire week from the flu then he wouldn't have been forced to watch it. Yes it was all his mom's fault...and Oprah.

He needed to get his mind off those damn soap operas...and Oprah (who may or may not be interviewing his favorite actress today on her past life and he was hoping his TiVo didn't fuck up that recording)...goddammit.

"So you think Clyde and Token are still fighting?" Kevin spurted out in haste. If he didn't start talking he might overload on his current thoughts and his mind exploding by such force was the last thing they needed right now. Tweek sighed.

"They probably stopped by now and started searching for us. They don't fight longer than thirty minutes unless it's over something serious." He responded to Kevin in a mellow toned voice. Kevin frowned at that.

"What would be considered serious enough for them to dispute for more than half an hour?" he was almost reluctant to ask but his curiosity got the best of him.

"Well one time they fought for two hours on the topic of evolution."

"Evolution? Clyde?"

"Yes he was thoroughly convinced that humans were mutated aliens that other aliens dumped off on Earth because they didn't want the mutated aliens to infect all the other aliens. He even explained that the huge crater in Mexico wasn't from a comet but was the landing port for the spaceship station they had." He rolled his eyes. "You can see why Token had to disagree with that. At the end they had finally agreed that humans evolved from something in general but left the idea from what exactly they evolved from in the first place and agreed to disagree. That and Craig here threatened to choke them with their own spinal cord if they didn't shut the fuck up." Tweek looked over at Kevin with half closed eyes. "Your boyfriend is an idiot, Stoley."

Kevin froze.

"You're dating Clyde?" Craig nearly gasped and dropping Kenny's dead weight body. "What the fuck! Why! Do you hate life or something?" Kevin shot Tweek a fierce glare but Tweek wasn't in the mood to care about anything for the moment.

"Yeah..." Kevin growled. "I guess I do." Craig flipped him off.

"You're a fucking idiot. And here I thought you might actually have brains." He flipped him off again. Tweek scowled in Craig's direction.

"Leave him the fuck alone, Craig. Just because he's with an idiot doesn't mean he is one." Craig flipped him off as well.

"Yeah I should know of all people right? I think your swell and look at me, I'm normal and don't have a boner for McCormick." Tweek stopped walking.

"You son of a bitch, I do NOT have a boner for Kenny!"

"Then why do you cry like a pussy when he gets hurt? He gets a little sprain or a couple of broken bones and you need buckets to hold all the wetness you ooze out from it. It's pathetic!"

"Because th-those are the times he DIES, butt wipe! You might see it as a couple of injuries but those are actually deaths you're seeing! You just don't get it!"

"Look at him!" Craig bumped his shoulder showing that Kenny was now unconscious. "He's injured now, so does that mean he's dead? Am I carrying a dead person in broad daylight on my shoulder right now, Tweek?"

"He might be, I d-don't know!"

Craig dropped Kenny's body to the ground with a thud. A few silent seconds passed before they heard the boy muffle out a groan.

"The fuck?..." his scratchy voice grumbled. Craig pointed at the barely alive kid.

"See, he's not dead! He never was dead and he has NEVER died! He just gets fucked up a lot because he's an idiot who can't shut his mouth! End of story!" Craig flipped Kenny off, and then Tweek, and then Kevin before walking off in a different direction then were they were going. Tweek yelled at him.

"YOU'RE CRUEL, T-TUCKER! YOU HAVE NO SOUL!" Craig flipped him off again and continued walking off in the distance, showing no care for anything. Kevin sighed and sat down on the sidewalk next to Kenny's barely alive body.

"Great, now what are we going to do?" and as almost by miracle his phone started ringing. He dug deep in his pocket and read the caller ID that showed the name "Clyde" with the picture of him with a Sharpie drawn moustache while still asleep (a little prank Kevin pulled on him two nights before) . He smiled and pressed the talk button on the touch screen, deciding to be a little humorous to lighten the mood.

"It's Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?"

"It's red! It's always been red, Kevin! Where the hell are you!"

"Kevin? Who is this Kevin you speak of?"

"I'm not kidding around, dude! We've been looking for you two for hours!""

"And you barely decide to call now?"

"I...kind of... forgot."

"Forget what? That you had a perfectly good working phone in your pocket?" Kevin didn't even bother trying to hold back his laugh.

"Shut up! Now where are ya'll?" Kevin looked around at his surroundings.

"Uh... we're in front of Tom's Rhinoplasty." Clyde groaned on the other side of the phone.

"They're by Tom's Rhinoplasty!" Clyde seemed to be talking to Token now. Token's loud groan could be heard over the phone.

"How the hell they get there?"

"I dunno! How did ya'll get there?"

"We walked, how else are we going to get here, by spaceship?"

"Knowing you, you probably would go by spaceship!"

"Yeah I would but where in God's name would I get a spaceship, Clyde?"

"I don't know! You probably have one floating around in your garage or something!"

Tweek started twitching with frustration.

"DUDE JUST TELL THEM TO HURRY UP AND GET HERE!"

"Is that Tweek?" Clyde curiously asked. Kevin rolled his eyes but was too tired to come up with a sarcastic response.

"Yeah that's Tweek."

"Well, don't worry Tweek! We're on our way!"

"Clyde..."

"Yeah?"

"You're still talking to me."

"_Keeevvvviiiinnnn_, you were 'apposed ta put me on speaker phone!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"You just were!"

"Pfft..."

"I gotta go, Token's yelling at me."

"Kay, bye."

"Bye."

He hung up the phone and smiled to himself. Then he noticed Tweek was looking at him.

"What?" Tweek smiled. Now Kevin was even more confused. "_Whaaatt_? Why are you looking at me like that?" the blonde giggled.

"You –ngh!- like him a whole b-bunch, don't you?" Kevin's face burned a bright pink making Tweek's creepy smile even creepier.

"Yeah I guess..." He adjusted his glasses. "So what if I do?" Tweek shook his head and sat down in front of him next to Kenny's body as well.

"It's just...I dunno...It's just c-cute." His hand rested on top of Kenny's orange hood covered head. His thumb rubbed against the cloth in a soothing manner. "You two seem kind of right I guess even though I would've never predicted you'd be a couple." Kevin sighed and leaned over on his side, resting his body on a door frame.

"Yeah I guess. I never would've predicted this either." His breath fogged up in front of him like a little smoky cloud. "It's just one of those things you would have never known would happen...if that makes any sense." He heard Tweek laugh that shaky laugh he had.

"Yeah believe me...I know exactly what your –ngh!- t-talking about." There was a pause. "I never thought Kenny and I were ever going to be friends but look at us now. I'm sitting next to his barely breathing body and I'm not freaking out about it. It's crazy." They both laughed airy chuckles, neither sounding true or fake.

"How did you two become friends if you don't mind me asking." Kevin nearly regretted asking that question thinking Tweek might be offended. Fortunately it didn't bother him a bit.

"Uh, well. He found out that I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That he couldn't die."

"Hmm...really?"

"Yeah go ahead, don't believe it. No one does in fact." He sounded tired. "But it does happen. He dies all the time and no one notices or remembers it."

"Well, except for you supposedly."

"Yeah."

There was another awkward pause.

"I'm not insane you know." Tweek blurted out like it was pressing to get out his mind for a long time.

"I never said you were." He mumbled. Then, Tweek for some unknown godly reason sneezed.

"Okay." Tweek's voice muffled as he wiped his nose that was red from the cold air.

Kevin was still curious about one more thing.

"So what's the deal with you and Craig?"

"GAH! W-what do you m-mean?"

"I'm just saying, you two seem to fight a lot and he doesn't seem to like Kenny much. Is this love triangle drama I sense here or am I totally off?"

"You're totally off!"

"Am I? How?"

"...Uh...Well for one thing Kenny doesn't like anyone of us like that."

"He seems to like you."

"AS A FRIEND! THAT'S ALL!"

"You sure about that?"

"JESUS CHRIST! KEVIN SHUT UP!"

A voice interrupted them.

"I FOUND THEM TOKEN!" A little brown haired blob started running toward them in the distance along with a dark looking one. The brown little blob attacked Kevin into his barricade hug.

"Clyde stop being gay." Token muttered with tired eyes. In fact they all looked tired. Except Kenny who looked dead. Clyde rolled his eyes and sat down in front of Kevin with a confused expression. Then the two of them looked at Kenny.

"So...what happened?" Clyde poked at Kenny's bloody stub of a head. Kevin and Tweek sighed together on cue.

"It's a long story." Kevin stated. "Look can we all just go home already. We all obviously exhausted and I have a test to study for Monday so yeah." Clyde pouted.

"So I won't see you tomorrow?" he whimpered. Kevin sighed and patted Clyde's shoulder very manly like because Token still didn't know they were together (or at least they thought he didn't know...Token wasn't stupid).

"Well you can come over if you promise not to distract me."

"I promise I won't!" he smiled like a dope "Just makes sure you mom makes that goopy stuff she made yesterday that taste like orgasms in noodle form. That way I'll be too busy being in noodle heaven to bother you!" stars were practically in his eyes when he talked of Kevin's moms orgasmic noodle formed goopy stuff. Kevin chuckled and ruffled Clyde's hair that reminded him of puppies.

"Sure, dude. Whatever you want."

Tweek stared at the two of them with jealously nipping at his emotions. He fingers were still rubbing the material of Kenny's parka gently. Kenny was dead. He died not too long ago. He felt his pulse drum slowly until it died out and he watched the color slowly fade from his face beneath the blood stains. He didn't want to tell the others because that would just freak them out. He had to tell them to go home already so they wouldn't figure it out themselves.

"You three should head home. Your –ngh!- parents will w-worry." They all turned towards him.

"You sure? What about Mr. Unconscious there?" Token pointed at Kenny.

"I'll t-take care of it. Just go home already –gah!-." Clyde and Kevin didn't seem to mind that idea.

"Alright we'll see ya tomorrow, Tweekers!" Clyde bounced back up and pulling Kevin up too. Kevin dusted himself off and waved him a goodbye.

"Yeah, hopefully Kenny will be okay. See you." And they walked off in the direction of Clyde's house. Token still stood there, not moving a muscle and giving Tweek a knowing glare.

"Tweek..." Tweek didn't look at him. "Tweek, are you okay man?" the boy nodded.

"Tweek where's Craig?"

"He...he left."

"Why?"

"Because I got m-mad at him."

"What did you get mad at him for?"

"He said I had a boner for Kenny."

"Do you?"

"NGH! That's not the point!"

Token laughed.

"You're right it's not. Sorry."

"It's –ngh!- okay."

"Tweek, is Kenny dead?"

This was the third awkward pause of the day.

"Token, go home p-please."

"Sure Tweek. Just promise me you'll go home soon too. It gets dangerous at night; you of all people should know that." Tweek shivered at the thought of nighttime in South Park. "I'll check up on you soon, okay." and with that he patted his friends back and started walking off in the direction of his own mansion like house. As soon as Token left his range of sight he cried into the cloth of Kenny's parka until the lights dimmed and the stars burned into the dark of the velvet night sky.

* * *

><p>Heaven was a beautiful place; Kenny appreciated the times he spent here. Yes, he was there finally after getting days of nothing but Purgatory. In fact he wished he had Purgatory. He wanted to see what was happening to Tweek back on Earth and wanted to make sure he got home safely, like every other time he died. He wanted to know why he got Heaven in the first place though. He only got Heaven when he did a good thing before he died and he vaguely didn't remember doing anything good before he died this time. Why was it different this time?<p>

He ignored the hellos he got from the Mormon angels as he walked on the fluffy cloud sidewalk thing towards the place he always hanged out whenever he got heaven. You see, when you get Heaven there was a big ol' place filled with nothing but doors. Those doors held Paradise specific for each person that you could go to whenever you pleased. Kenny's Paradises was usually nothing but a big party. Sometimes when he craved for a family he got the Paradise that held the picture perfect home that held a picture perfect version of his own family that didn't have Poptart's for dinner and didn't waste whatever money they had on weed. Other times when we felt lonely and missed the old times his Paradise was nothing but relived memories of the good times he actually had in his life.

He stood in front of the door that held his Paradise this time and felt a little bubble of happiness inside his guts. He had no idea what he got this time so it'd be sort of like a surprise. He took a deep breath and put his hand on the angelic brass door knob, turning it and opening the grand door. He peeked inside and a big grin took its form on his face seeing what lied on the other side of the door.

There stood an equally happy Tweek Tweak waiting for him in his Paradise.

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><p>Pfft I'm so cheesy I should die D: Every bit of this story is so filled with fluff, I could make my own cotton candy shop with it Dx<p>

Thanks for the reviews guys :D I appreciate them! I know this chapter was horrid so you can't say you don't have any critique on it, seriously :/

So...

R&R 8D

(Hopefully they'll put Tweek in the next episode or I'll cry xI)


	6. Chapter 6

You readers and reviewers are so awesome I can't even process it's magnificence. You're all like the new episode of SP last night, I swear ;A;

and I'm sorry for the late update, I suck.

Are turtles reptiles, I didn't even check...

That is all.

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><p>"AH-AHCHOOEY!"<p>

It was the next day and Tweek unfortunately had gotten a cold. Must've been from staying out so long in the cold with only a long sleeved shirt and sweat pants yesterday or the being around dead bodies for the past couple of weeks, but whatever the reason was he was still sick and Tweek HATED being sick. Staying all day in the same clothes and only getting up from bed to use the restroom it was something only animals did! It was absolutely disgusting and he could practically feel the bacteria crawling all over his skin through his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas (a gift from Clyde that Tweek never cared much for; the thought of mutated reptiles living in the sewers wasn't something he wanted to consider a thought in his mind, he was already afraid of the restroom enough as it was).

He was living a nightmare from hell and he swore to it.

"Ahchooey? The fuck?"

Oh yeah and Craig was there, too. He didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing yet, his mind was to blah to decide.

"Sh-shut up...AH-AH-AHCHHOOEY!"

Supposedly, he came over to apologize for his "obscene" behavior yesterday and that he shouldn't have done what he did because it was an "immoral" act to do. The whole thing sounded like something his mother had told him to say word for word because obviously Craig didn't understand half the shit he was saying meant. But nevertheless Tweek forgave him because, well...it was Craig. Craig was like his BFFFE (Best Friend For Fucking Ever) or something of the sorts and he couldn't stay mad at him for long even if he did kill Kenny. Craig was Craig and he will always stay Craig no matter what and something about that seemed to put Tweek's mind to ease whenever he thought about it. He didn't have to worry about Craig not being Craig because Craig was too Craig to not be Craig and no one could be Craig because they didn't have what was needed to be Craig so no one could be Craig except for Craig himself...if that made any sense.

Whatever...

Tweek was just glad to have Craig by his side for the moment because he'd go insane if he had to suffer through another cold by himself again. He hated colds oh so much with a burning passion of hate.

"So..." Craig played with an old slinky, sitting on a chair by Tweek's bedside like it was a little iron accordion. "You forgive me right? For almost killing what's-his-face, I mean. "

"I already told yea-AHCHOO!" Tweek sneezed into his tissue. Craig nodded idly as he let one end of the slinky uncoil till it reached the floor.

"Cool, cool..." he let the entire slinky drop to the floor. He stared at it for a couple of seconds before muttering. "I'm hungry." Tweek sighed and pointed to the bag of Goldfish crackers on the tray on his bedside table he mom brought to him minutes before Craig arrived. Craig stared at the crackers blankly.

"You sure you're not going to eat them?"

"Don't you r-remember that I don't eat anything that smiles back at me?"

"Oh yeah I forgot." He grabbed the bag of cheddar Goldfish and popped the bag open, munching on them one by one. The room grew silent besides the loud munches of Goldfish being crushed under Craig's crooked teeth and the occasional sneeze from Tweek. The awesome thing about their friendship is that they never had to talk. They had those quiet moments were they practically went hours without speaking and it was awesome because we all know that Craig was never a chatty person to begin with and Tweek thought coming up with something to talk about was too much pressure, so this was one of the many benefits of their loner friendship. Clyde and Token didn't like being quiet and loved talking for some god-awful, unknown reason. They stayed in their comfortable silence for a long while until something caught Craig's interest. Something shiny and glowing a dim blue.

"Yo Tweek why is your laptop still on?" Craig said, his mellow voice barely breaking the silent aura. Tweek rustled under his bed comforter, only his strands of weirdly colored blond hair stuck out from beneath it.

"I d-don't know. I guess I forgot to t-turn it off yesterda-a-a, ACHOOEY!" Craig plopped another Goldfish into his mouth before getting up, walking across the room, and sitting in the computer chair in front of the Tweek's desk. He moved the mouse to bring the laptop out of sleep mode and saw the home screensaver which was the picture Craig had sent him of Dotty (Stripe's daughter and replacement once he had passed, may he rest in peace) sleeping on Clyde's face. He laughed when he saw this.

"You actually put it as your screensaver?" he yelled at Tweek from across the room. "Why?" Tweek muffled an "I dunno" underneath his bed comforter in response. Craig smiled while he clicked the I-Tunes window he saw that was still running in the task bar. There was a song that had paused on the last song of a playlist labeled, "Sexybutt McCondom's Super Sexy OMG WTF LOL BBQ Playlist! ;D".

Didn't take long for Craig to realize who made that...

"McCormick's a retard..." the boy mumbled annoyed as he scrolled up and studied the songs Kenny put on his playlist. There was a lot of 80's rock band music on it like AC/DC and Bon Jovi, country music, and techno shit. Then that was when Craig decided to make a surprise playlist of his own. He clicked the-create-a-new-playlist button, cracked his knuckles, and went to work.

He picked over 89 songs to his playlist before he got bored with what he was doing and labeled it "Craig Tucker Owns.". Feeling proud of himself and his new playlist he looked over his shoulder to see Tweek had fallen asleep. The blonde's tiny snore filled the room along with the music on Craig's playlist that played soothingly from the humming laptop. The current song that had randomly been picked was "Blue Eyes" by King Diamond because well...why not? Craig had no idea Tweek had King Diamond on his laptop but he thought it was awesome that he did. Made him love the twitch even more... if that was possible.

He took off his beloved hat and ran his fingers through his wavy like black hair. Clyde told him once that he looked like Clark Kent (Superman when he's in nerdy journalist disguise) whenever he took of his hat because he had the same curls that Clark Kent had. He told him to shut up and that he was better that Superman and Spiderman combined. Craig Tucker was better than any damn superhero in comic book history because he was Craig Tucker, bitch.

This made him smirk with pride once again. As the song played and Tweek snored, Craig got up from his chair and walked over to Tweek's bed. He stared at the little figure that still was hidden underneath all the blankets for a while before he decided that his legs were hurting, so he sat in the empty space on the bed by Tweek's sleeping figure and he just couldn't resist playing with the blonde's crazy hair. It smelled like coffee (of course) and laundry detergent from being in bed. He loved the smell of laundry detergent.

Yes in fact he did do Tweek's laundry but it was totally because he wanted to. He didn't do Clyde's laundry (there was not enough Chipotlaway in the world to go through one load of Clyde's laundry) and Token hadn't even heard of the word laundry because he was a rich asshole who could afford a new wardrobe every week so Craig got to make sure that Tweek had his own specific fabric softener because he was special and deserved his own specific smelling fabric softener to give him his Tweeky smell. Yup, doing laundry was up on Craig's list of reasons for staying on this blue bug of a planet. Laundry was awesome. He could spend days just watching all those colorful clothes swirl and dance about in the washing machine in a glorified soapy ballet. Just thinking about it made his eyes go heavy and a yawn find its way out of his mouth.

As the sleepy eyes of Craig Tucker began to lazily shut together the song changed on the playlist he created. The song was barely audible to hear but after a couple of seconds the words broke through the speakers on the laptop bringing a peaceful serene calm with it as it played.

"_Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away."_

The mellow voice of Paul McCartney and melancholy sound of the acoustic guitar bass just deepened the heavy feeling Craig already was feeling on his eyelids. The Beatles always did make him feel sleepy, those damn hippies.

"_Now it looks as though they're here to stay..."_

With a final yawn, Craig finally succumbed to the power of naptime. His hand rested on top of Tweek's frazzled hair, with his fingers still intertwined with his golden locks. The sound of two quiet snores began to fill the emptiness of the room as the friends shared a dreamless sleep together.

"_Oh, I believe in yesterday."_

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

Kenny's eyes fluttered open in a peaceful awakening. The scratched up ceiling was the first thing he saw and instead of the usual grimace he usually greeted it each morning, a soft smile had replaced it. A sigh of content unknowingly left his mouth before he sat up slowly on his bed but not too long a slight pain still pinched in his gut from yesterday's death but yet he still remained bruise free. He absent-mindedly rubbed his achy stomach while getting up and heading out of his bedroom only to get the putrid smell of smoke to immediately fill his lungs. He had grown quite use to being greeted every time he opened his door with a lungful of smoke but no matter what it still didn't stop his nose from crinkling up from it every time. His mother and father had fallen asleep on the ratty couch, the ash tray still having cigarettes that remained with their dim orange glow and their loud snores rattling the already weak walls of the house. Kenny tip-toed past them (careful not to disturb them or else they'd get real cranky) and entered the kitchen to scour for any remnants of food. He found a piece of three day old toast and can of beer that had been there for weeks. He didn't want to risk drinking the beer because he was 99.999% sure that there was a bunch of cigarette butts and other unknown fragments of shit floating around in it.

He didn't like those odds.

So having no other choice he decided the three day old toast would do for now. Or...He _could _go over to Tweek's place and let his mom feed him snacks until he exploded. Coffee sounded a hell of a lot better than contaminated beer cans and moldy bread, that's for sure. Besides, it gave him an excuse to see Tweek and Tweek was even more awesome now! It takes big balls to stand up to Craig and nonetheless Craig was his best friend! He told off his best friend, just for Kenny, and it was probably the nicest shit anyone could have ever done for him. He needed to at least thank him for that!

Out the door he went practically skipping the whole way there.

~!~!~!~!~

Knock, Knock

Waiting...waiting...waiting...oh the wonderful joy of waiting...

Doorknob is turning.

"Oh why hello, your Tweek's little friend aren't you?" the brown hair bobbed lady smiled gently up at the blonde. It was amusing that she was calling him his "little" friend seeing as how he had to bend his neck down to talk to her.

Kenny smiled the most charming smile he could muster in return.

"It's Kenny McCormick, ma'am! Can Tweek come out to play!"

"Well what a nice young man you are Kenny! But I'm afraid Tweek can't come out to play today." Kenny's charming smile disappeared quickly.

"Aw shucks why not?"

"Well he has a little cold, dear. He has to stay inside or else his condition might worsen and he could get hypothermia." She frowned at the thought. "But don't worry he'll be all better tomorrow for school. Especially since his other little friend is helping him get better. He's such a sweetheart." Kenny raised an eyebrow.

"Other little friend, ma'am?" Mrs. Tweak nodded with a heartfelt motherly grin on her thin lips.

"Yes his friend Craig. A real sweet boy, always looking out for my little pumpkin." His smile disappears. "He's upstairs with him right now, I was just about to check up on them in fact." Kenny's eyebrows furrowed as he began to open his mouth just about to ask her a question until his stomach decided to interrupt him with a loud grumble signaling its hunger. Kenny had nearly forgotten that he was hungry. He was always hungry though...

Mrs. Tweak's wide hazel eyes widened in a hidden horror when she heard Kenny's stomach desperate plead for food.

"Oh my! You poor thing you must be starving! Come inside quickly, I have a tray of freshly baked brownies just begging to be devoured!" Kenny drooled a little bit. He could just imagine the brownies...sitting there...waiting for him...

"Yes, ma'am!" He followed her inside like a desperate puppy. Mrs. Tweak giggled as she closed the door gently behind him and began their walk towards the kitchen.

"Oh please call me Cindy. I never did like being called ma'am. It makes me feel so old ." She giggled again and Kenny realized that she had the same squeaky laugh that Tweek had. Something about that made him smile to himself.

"Whatever floats your boat, Cindy! I never did like calling adults mister or ma'am either. It makes me feel like a little kid." He exclaimed before making himself comfortable and sitting in one of the chairs at the Tweek's dining table. Cindy grabbed a plate and a spatula and started lifting the brownies from the baking tray one by one onto the plate. They were so fudgy looking and delicious that Kenny nearly creamed his pants just looking at them. His thoughts of all the dirty things he could do those innocent brownies were interrupted by another one of Cindy's squeaky laughs that still sounded so much like Tweek's squeaky laughs, and it made Kenny smile again

"You're quite the funny one, blondie!" Looks like she already forgot his name... "Would you like some coffee? I have three pots brewing, one's a Columbian ground and the other two are Hazelnut and French Vanilla." Kenny shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly.

"Surprise me." She put down her spatula and rubbed her chin as if in deep thought while she studied Kenny, analyzing him like a robot.

"You look like a...Hazelnut."

"Well I always knew I was a nut..."

"Haha no, you silly! You look like you would like Hazelnut!"

"Oh...I knew that."

Kenny was always such the charmer...

Cindy wiped her hands on her apron and headed over to the three pots of coffee she had brewing at three different coffeemakers. She picked up the one that had a light brown color look to it and poured the steaming hot liquid into a mint green coffee cup.

"Any sugar or cream?" her calm, song-like voice called over to Kenny who was still staring at the plate of brownies that continued to evilly mock him back.

"Uh...sugar please." He spoke out in a dreamlike trance not breaking his concentration on the most tempting plate of brownies he ever laid eyes on. Cindy hummed a little song as she plopped two sugar cubes into the cup and stirred gently before placing it on the table in front of Kenny. She stayed there and gave him a lighthearted smile.

"Go on! See if you like it!" Kenny held back a laugh as he clasped the warm handle of the mint green cup and slowly brought it up to his lips, slurping quietly and carefully. The sweet taste of hazelnut coffee with hints of cinnamon and brown sugar made the entire cup sort of taste like a liquid form of French toast and waffles. Kenny took a long, deep sip before placing back down on the table and licking the excess traces of coffee off of his lips.

"That was so freaking good!" he sighed exhaling finally, "I never tasted coffee like that before! No wonder ya'll drink it by the gallon!" Cindy smiled proudly walking towards the plate of brownies with a bit of a bounce to her step.

"I just have a knack at telling what type of coffee a person likes. No big deal." She continues with her proud grin even though her words were nothing but modest. She walked away from the table leaving Kenny to slurp up the delicious coffee but it didn't take her long to return...and with the plate of brownies in her hands. Yes, the same exact plate of brownies that Kenny had been drooling after not to long before. A simple hum played on her lips while she placed the plate in front of Kenny who had finished his cup of coffee already and was starting to get pissed off that his tongue wasn't long enough to reach the bottom of the cup to lick the last traces of coffee. What he'd give to be Gene Simmons right now...

"It's a new recipe of double fudge brownies I made for the coffee shop, so tell me what you think of them." She laid a couple of square napkins alongside the plate before walking away. "I'm going to go check up on Tweek and his friend, I'll be right back. Try not to eat them too quickly or you'll get an ulcer or maybe even diabetes! Then they'll have to amputate your leg!"

Really?

"Sure." Kenny muffled with the cup still stuck over his mouth. He should give up already on finding any more coffee in the empty mug, seriously. He set the mug down and there it stood in front of him, the most incredible tower of brownies he had ever seen in all its chocolate glory. No words could express how happy he felt at this moment to have a whole plate of those deviously seductive brownies. First, liquid waffle coffee and now this? For once in his life he thanked God for giving him this.

He pulled the plate closer to him with a shaky hand rattling it against the smooth granite top of the dining table. He licked his lips before picking up the brownie that was so delicately placed on top on the tower of all the other brownies, making it look like it was king of the sexy brownies and he took a deep breath to ready his taste buds before he took a bite. His teeth broke the flaky skin of the chocolate delight and the creamy center spilled, coating the palates of his tongue with a river of warm fudge. His blue eyes rolled up to the back of his head as the flavors sank in and the nerves finally registered the flavor in to his brain.

"Oh my freakin' God..."

He nearly wet his pants because who needs drugs and sex when you could have Mrs. Tweak's double fudge chocolate brownies?

Meanwhile as Mrs. Tweak trotted up the stairs to her son's room she could hear Kenny's mm's and ah's from downstairs and she smiled to herself once again with pride. It was nice to show off her culinary skills once in a while that wasn't a paying customer, someone who could appreciate it. Her flats made faint tapping noised against the carpet of the upstairs floor as she neared the door of Tweek's bedroom. She opened the door slowly not wanting to alarm him and her heart nearly melted at the precious sight before her. The boy she knew as her son's best friend had fallen asleep with a protective hand over the frazzled blonde head of an also asleep Tweek. Their snores blended with the music that played lightly from the laptop on top of Tweek's desk. She had no idea what song was on (she wasn't hip with today's modern music and all that jazz) but it had a crazy tune to it and it made her think how in the hell were kids able to fall asleep to this type of music? But despite all that, she continued to smile softly as she approached the two sleeping teens and fixed the blanket so that it covered the both of them. It was just such a cute little thing to see she needed to take a picture of it as soon as possible being the natural mother she was wanting to take pictures of everything that was even considered a "I-gotta-take-a-picture-of-this" moment.

She hurriedly trotted back down the stairs and searched for her camera. Kenny had finished the plate of brownies and he had fallen asleep on the table, finally feeling full for once in his life. Chocolate covered the corners of his mouth as he tried to lick it off during his light sleep. Cindy Tweak was frantically searching for her camera and even knocked a few things to the ground as seconds went by where she still remained camera-less.

"Where is that dang son of a-"she knocked over a lamp with the pillow she threw off from the couch. The lamp didn't break but it made a noise loud enough to awake the sleeping Kenny.

With an "Ejejfrajlkh!" Kenny awoke in a startle from his 15 second nap and looked around for the source of the noise, "Uh...Cindy? What's going on? Are we getting robbed?"

"No I'm looking for my camera, blondie. Mind helping me out?"

He blinked.

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking..._WHY_ are you looking for your camera?"

Another cluttered sound came from the living room area.

"I went into my little Tweek's room and I saw the cutest thing and I just HAVE to take a picture of it!~" Kenny rubbed the temples of his head before finally getting up from the dining table and wobbling over to the living room area, still full of brownies and coffee.

"What did you see?" the blonde mumbled curiously. She tossed over the pillow on an armchair before pointing a manicured finger upstairs.

"Go up there and see for yourself! It's sooo adorable!~" she sounded like she wanted to squeal what she just said instead of just saying it in her usual toned voice. Kenny raised an eyebrow at the strange woman before wobbling himself up the stairs (which is totally brutal after eating your weights worth in coffee and brownies and he highly doesn't recommend doing it so you shouldn't do it, okay). As he finally near the last step upstairs, he was breathing and panting rowdy and he now understood what it felt like to be Eric Cartman for once and why he was always so pissed off. He nearly crawled his way to Tweek's room and then he saw what Tweek's mom had been yelling about before.

It was so cute it nearly made him puke.

He picked himself off the floor and walked over to the bed, seeing that the two of them had fallen fast asleep and Craig being the protective asshole he was, conscious or not, had his grubby hands all over sick little Tweek. Though he did smile, the punch Tweek gave him the day before left behind a pretty nasty bruise on his jaw.

"-bastard deserved it..." Kenny muttered his thought out loud. A loud shuffling sound tumbled up the stairs and not too long a totally messy haired Mrs. Tweak came into the bedroom with a cherry red Nixon camera.

"Are they still sleeping?" she panted as she leaned on the door frame. Kenny raised an eyebrow before slowly nodding a response back. She smiled a not so sane looking smile and she walked over to the bed, nearly fan girl squealing once again at the sight that she swore unicorns could be made out of just by looking at it.

"Aren't they just adorable?~"

"Just a bundle of peachy cuteness."

She smiled her psychotic smile. Bringing the camera near her eyes readying it to take a picture, she made sure the lighting and position was just perfect before she pressed the silver little button. But of course she unfortunately forgot to turn off the flash...

"-the fuck!" Craig blinked his eyes open and brought his arms over his forehead. "W-wait, was that a camera?" his drowsy voice slurred. At first he only saw an orange blob and another greenish blob next to it, then his mind processed that it was only Mrs. Tweak and...Kenny Mc-fucking-Cormick. He jumped off the bed faster than you can say guinea pigs.

"Uh...what are you doing here?" he pointed to Kenny, still not very sure if he was still asleep or not. He looked over at Mrs. Tweak. "When did he get here?" Mrs. Tweak frowned.

"He hasn't been here long. In fact, he just stopped by and asked for Tweek. Why, what's wrong Craigy-dear?" she said in her oh so sweetly innocent voice. Craig's furrowed eyebrows relaxed and his scowl lightened. He couldn't be mad at Mrs. Tweak; she looked too much like her son for him to ever be angry at her.

"Yeah what's wrong Craigy-dear? Did you have a bad dream about us not being the bestest of friends?~" Kenny sang in a higher pitched voice and smirked wickedly. Craig was happy that Kenny looked nothing like Tweek, there was nothing stopping him from turning him into an orange pretzel.

"Uh, no nothing's wrong Cindy." He mumbled, clearing his throat. Mrs. Tweak eyes grew large at the sound of his scratchy throat.

"Oh dear, your throat must hurt! I better get you some coffee right away!" and with that she left along with her little red camera. The minute she was downstairs and out of sight, Craig cracked his knuckles and glared at the blonde that stood before him.

"Okay, explain. Didn't I kick your ass yesterday? How are you all healed already, some kind of voodoo or witchcraft?" Kenny shook his head and laughed at this.

"I've told you already. Both Tweek and I have told you already. This is living proof that what we've told you is true." He leaned in close to his face and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper.

"I can _never_ die, Craig." The sleepy boy steely grey eyes burned with disgust and hate as he stared daggers and Kenny's own cauliflower blue eyes returned the favor.

"Bullshit."

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><p>Sorry for the sudden stop that as much as I could leave in for it not to be all long.<p>

Is it weird that I can be overly descriptive when describing the awesomness that is Mrs. Tweek's brownies?

Nah...

Idk what her name really is but South Park Wiki said some people call her Cindy so I went with it. -3-

Oh yeah I never explained the whole Craig's middle name shiznit. I choose Thomas for his middle name because, well that's his dad's name and I didn't feel like Craig would have a crazy middle name so...

Yup.

R&R :)


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